Christen's Cogitation

2012-01-18T22:54:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to send an update since... Let's just say its overdue.

3 months ago today(when I started writing this blog post) I married Christian. Since then, we've returned to Peru, moved our belongings into our apartment, built, painted, organized (and reorganized and reorganized), gotten rid of, and fixed up a lot. Our little apartment feels like home. Its pretty, it has a touch of the USA, pictures of us and those we love, lots of windows, a comfy couch (something hard to find here). We realized after Christian fell out of bed a couple of times that a double bed was not big enough and were thankful to find a used queen sized bed online.

Office, dining room & living room

Christian loved the North American style of pictures on walls... and I do too!

Bragging.... Christian designed and built this. His side, mine has drawers!

My husband's amazing skills... our custom designed closet

Extra high counters for a tall north America, also custom designed & built my Mr. Ara!

KITCHEN!

We've hosted... a lot of people. Had an author from Moody Publisher's here who is working on a book called the Global Orphan Crisis (http://www.globalorphancrisis.com/?cat=5).

Travis, a leader & friend from Fresno Capernaum days; our current summer intern, AKA in our little family "Junior"

We've had some wonderful times with Christian's grandmother (my new best friend and adopted grandma) and Tio who many of you met at the wedding. Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve in the barrio are an experience unlike anything I've ever known. Hundreds of people out in the street just finishing the 11pm meal and hugging, kissing, dancing, visiting and well wishing. Then the fireworks that make the 4th of July in San Francisco seem like a small operation begin.... and everyone has them! Christian could run the shows in most major cities in the USA after seeing his pyrotechnic skills!

New Year's day was a calm day at home preparing for our friend and summer intern, Travis Feaver who would land late the night. Just as we were walking out the door to pick him up from the airport, I got a call. The kind of call you know has to be bad because Enrique does not call at 11:30pm. I was sure our friend and national director's new baby had taken a turn for the worse and my stomach dropped. "I have some very bad news." Angel was born on December 24th between the heart murmur and pneumonia it'd been a rough start. He'd been released the day before. However, I could not have been prepared for what I heard next. "Alberto's wife Guiovanna has died." I will spare you the details but suffice it to say that Travis was welcomed briefly, dropped off at his apartment on our 2nd floor and we headed to the clinic as Peruvians do... they know how to rally and be present when tragedy strikes.... we arrived to find an eerie, cold, misty (summer) night just outside of the clinic where Alberto had rushed his unconscious wife after her heart attack. She had slipped into eternity in the car and the clinic had examined her but the body was to be surrendered to authorities. I stood with the staff and board, arms linked, dead silence and deep sorrow as we watch the police load the body of our dear friend into a police car's trunk. I will never forget watching Alberto's hollowing silence and look as she was placed in the car. Needless to say, as Latino's do, we spent the next 48 hours at a velorio, gathering funds to cover hospital, clinic and burial costs, checking on the 4 year old and 7 day old baby and gathering around an open casket, then at the burial. Poor Travis! Welcome to Peru.

Enrique and I both live here in Lima and are part of the regional management team so we met with staff and a board member to make provisional plan while we give Alberto some time to process, heal, think and be with his kids. We’re grateful for his mom who had moved in with him to help him with the little ones. Still many questions and of course a staff team broken, vulnerable and hurting for the loss we all share with Alberto.

Peru Leadership Team: Enrique, Alberto & his wife Guiovanna, Christian & I

With camp starting only 1 week after the accident, there was much to be done, meetings, gatherings, purchases and gaps to be filled… So Travis, Christian and I jumped in on all fronts. Sunday I left Travis and Christian with the camp set up team that would head to the beach for camp and was off to catch up on laundry, house work and emotions… what loss, what cost to serve the Lord. Angela, my sweet Raquel’s older sister came down to stay the night in order to head to camp the next day… we’ve been praying for her and keeping an eye on her as she begins to experience teenage years and struggles to make good choices. She was so excited and so were we… a place for healthy friendships and to hear the gospel on her level.

Monday morning I got up early to head to a meeting with MIMDES, the government’s department of women and children regarding our House of Mercy partnership with El Refugio and Capernaum. The meeting held a lot at stake but went wonderfully, having taken all morning but we were approved and made an important connection with the supervising social worker in regards to an orphanage that I became involved with about 7 years ago. This particular orphanage is run by a… sick old woman who calls herself “Pastor” and who uses spiritual abuse and manipulation along with her son’s strong arm and physical abuse to oppress children. The place is dark and should have been closed down years ago. Like any bureaucracy, its been a long process with a lot of reports, complaints, manipulations, and some intense investigation and as it turns out, this woman has headed up the investigations and they are nearly at the point of shutting it down. I could hardly believe it. I took turns with friends and we fasted and prayed for this, pleaded with the Lord for justice on behalf of the kids, for release form the oppressors (all family members of this woman) years ago. I had forgotten about this home almost entirely until last year I met a young girl from the US at my church who had come to serve with this same home… and was discovering issues. She has faced tremendous battles and warfare and I have been able to direct her a little more to the authorities being more familiar with the women’s and children’s welfare systems now. Well, the ball has been rolling! The social worker informed me that they were nearly done with the process… just needed a testimony from someone who’d live through the abuse. She asked if by any chance I knew someone. I do! Lord willing, Juan Gabriel will come to my house Friday morning and we will talk it over with him and ask if he is willing to make to testimony against the directors officials. This could be the end of that home. The answer to 7 years of intense battle and prayer by many more then myself. The social worker thanked me and assured me she would be waiting for an email or a phone call…

I said goodbye to Doris with a hug and shouts of joy for the victory we’d been praying for with House of Mercy and Refugio certification and was off. A quick stop in a local Market made it easier for me to take a side street and avoid the insane traffic of the main avenue… The last thing I remember as I drove merrily down Jiron Tacna in San Miguel thanking the Lord that finally there would be relief for the children and praying for what would be next for them… is a horn. I remember seeing a cross street that had a stop sign, a bus coming, hearing his horn and thinking “I hope he has time to stop.” That’s the last thing I remember.

Evidently, he didn’t have time to stop, as I entered the intersection (I had the right of way), the bus barreled through at 40 MPH and hit me head on, my head flew and hit the windshield, the impact sent the windshield flying 3 meters forward… by God’s grace, when the windshield had broken almost 2 years ago, my friend and mechanic, Luis had put a protective film on the inside and instead of the glass shattering in my face, the impact sent it out, not in and in one, large, cracked piece. The van we have has its motor under the driver’s seat so instead of hitting a motor, the whole front of the van came in straight at me. Somehow the steering wheel stopped about 2 cm short of me and all my vital organs; several times I have imagined the Lord himself setting his hand between that steering column and me as the front end of the van did sink in all around except there. The van was spun around and pulled half a block.

Front Shot... hit in 3 places!

I woke up pretty confused to whispers of “is she alive?” Immediately, as Peruvians do with any tragedy, many glasses of water were being held out. I looked down to see blood running down my arm. Grabbed for my cell phone and could not figure out how to use it, who to call, or even answer my name. Once again, the Lord in His grace…. Sent a friend, off her normal bus route, on a bus that got stuck waiting to pass as my wreck had taken over the intersection. She saw me and jumped out and took over. She made calls, gave my name, gathered my belongings and convinced me to head to the hospital. The next several hours were a blur. I had some pretty (humorous now) significant amnesia and repeated the same things over and over. When we finally got a hold of Christian I informed him I’d had a “little accident.” He jumped on a bus and made it back to Lima in record time of 2 hours. I was taken in an ambulance to a hospiral, xrayed, wheeled all around and asked lots of questions. By that time, Janet, my Capernaum partner and dear friend and Doris had arrived. I no longer had to function. Doris is a nurse and stood with the doctors to inspect the scans and xrays. No blood clots but severe cerebral edema… my brain was swelling and there was nowhere else for it to go. At some point I was hospitalized, IV meds started and the next 48 hours are a blur as I was in and out, medicated, in pain. The relief of seeing Christian dissolved us both in tears. Having been so close to our friends’ loss of his wife and then this… heavy.

The 3^rd day we realized that the hospital we’d been brought to was not going to get better and the care was pretty… pathetic. I transferred this time to a private clinic and the difference was black and white. That first night I had an MRI (THAT is an experience while still experiencing nausea and vomiting), x rays, saw a neurologist twice and my own doctor twice. The care was excellent, staff so kind and attentive and I was able to rest… for 4 more nights.

Not my best shot, but where I spent a week!

Finally I was released on Saturday as the swelling continues to decrease. I have been ordered to bed/sofa (and sneaking to my desk now) for the whole week. While it’s a challenge, I am learning to ask for help. Christian has bathed me, helped me dress, walk, sit, lay down; he’s been incredible. Now he is busy with police reports, towing the van, caring for our intern and me, so I have hired one of our friends, a young woman who has lead Young Life with Christian for 12 years for the week. She has been cooking and cleaning for the steady flow of people through this house.

Peruvians sure know how to be present with you when you suffer. My hospital room was only empty in the mornings when Christian went home to take care of business while friends worked. Most nights, I fell asleep to the sound of friends’ voices… friends who brought flowers, encouragement, and presence. Friends who managed police questioning, visitors and phone calls. Those friends continue to come to our house now. I was welcomed home by 5 of the boys who I call my “hijos” that I see daily who live on our block, all of whom had just returned from a week at camp and 2 of whom had just made a commitment to Chrtist. They’d come to clean house and hugged and kissed me with tears running down their cheeks as I made my way in the door. Angela had made friends with them and waited for me with fresh squeezed orange juice. Humbling. A gift.

So, that is where I am. On the 3^rd floor. Still have not ventured down the stairs as the doctor is concerned for the pressure this would put on my head. Monday was horrific with a migraine beyond what I have felt before which broke after 13 hours. Tomorrow I will meet with my doctor and then with the infamous Peruvian National Police to give my statement and then LORD WILLING Christian and I will travel to Orlando on Saturday night for Young Life’s All Staff Conference which only happens once every 4 years. I am doing all I can to conserve energy and find it rather humorous that I will not only represent Capernaum in Latin America in title, but in body… returning in a wheelchair… very Capernaum and married to a Latin American. Great recruiting tool?

Thanks for your love, support, encouragement and prayers. I am one blessed woman and am so, so grateful to be alive!

Happy New Year… here’s to some happier days in this new year…

Incarnational Minsitry, Relationships...

2011-12-02T13:27:00.000-05:00

A friend wrote me asking for some input for a paper he was writing for a Philosophy of Ministry class. I wanted to give him some quick answers, but realized this might be something worth sharing here as it gives some insight into my life and ministry philosophy and calling…. So, for what its worth, here are some thoughts from Christen:

Why are relationships important in ministry?

I believe that the model Jesus gave us for ministry was what he showed with his disciples; relationships. He spent time with people. They rode in boats together, ate together, prayed together…. I can imagine there was some play time and laughing too. We see they argued and worked out conflicts too. Think of Jesus with his disciples the night he was crucified talking about who would betray him and listening to their (and perhaps at times my own) pathetic responses. He spent one on one time (at least we hear the conversations from this time) and in small groups as well as in crowds. As ministers of the gospel, parents, teachers, missionaries, businessmen, nurses… we have got to be with people; walk with them, and work our the messiness of life if we want to see lasting fruit and discipleship. Relationships where we're invested in are key so we can fill up, be challenged, corrected and then go and do the same. I think of many relationships that have shaped who I am Kerry Decker, one of my first friends who has walked with me through so much. Jaime Maxey and 4:45am walks daily where she challenged the way I thought, responded to and dreamed, where she asked hard questions about my attitudes. I think of Anita Flom teaching me to pray as we walked weekly and prayed for Shore Acres and bringing me back to scripture models. I think of hours spent stuffing envelopes at the Youth for Christ office when I was in high school and Valerie Allen speaking into my life about marriage, family, ministry, who we are in Christ…

People I can never forget... Kerry, The Floms, Steph Sawyer and Andrea Alford from high school. Katie my college roommate.. All have deeply impacted my life!

Relationships where we're investing is where we can see the effects long term.

relationships are complicated, especially when we all bring our brokenness and pain and mess and sin into it. I think of college years and roommates and how our relationships challenged us to walk more closely with Jesus but how this also collided with all of the mess we each brought into he house and our ministries. There were explosions of tears and emotion, days when we didn’t want to speak to each other, opportunities to minister God’s mercy to one another… this is the place the Lord has done the most work in me.

Kayla and Dana, some of my dearest college friends!

Its training for life. Its discipleship and discipline. Its where the rubber meets the road and our words are put into action or we fall into the infamous pit of hypocrisy as our lives and relationships don't measure up to what we say and preach.... and when we refuse to acknowledge the inconsistencies. However, in relationship, we embrace it all. We acknowledge the inconsistencies and sin, the mess and we see Jesus as the One who redeems it all. We embrace one another as we hold tightly to His grace and we see fruit.

Amazing women who've been my friends and who've joined me in minsitry.

I think of young men and women I met and challenged to come and see a ministry and then somehow swallowed them into our crazy, messy, fun, passionate community… and I see them now forever marked by it. Chad fell in love with special education. Jenny and Kimeka learned sign language and went on to work with the deaf. Joel, Randy, Nick, Promise… all found passions and continue to minister to kids with disabilities. These ones, and so many more have in turn taught me and challenged me!

Nick became & still is one of the best Young Life Capernaum leaders I've ever met!

How do you go about forming those relationships?

Especially living overseas in a culture that values relationship over schedule and productivity, I am still very much learning this. TIME. TIME is key. It takes time, shared experiences, listening, going to where the people are. For me, moving to Peru, they key was that I didn't move to where many missionaries and expats live, but I moved into the barrio. This was something I would not have chosen and the circumstances and God’s hand allowed for and I am thankful. I put a lot of effort into hospitality and hosting people in my home and space, going to their work, home, or riding buses a long way from where I am to be close to where they are. Caring more about the person, their family, life, relationships, burdens is they foundation for any ministry relationship. I don't look for volunteers, I build friendships and love people, and often those same people join me in ministry.

What are the drawbacks of basing your ministry on incarnational and relational strategies?

Its often messy as we get to share the real stuff of life- sin, pain, hurt, and here it often means facing the harsh realities of poverty together. It means knowing people's brokenness and sticking with them through it. It takes time, lots of extra grace and effort. It means seeing and addressing my own brokenness and how it can affect people. It means being there when its inconvenient, we're tired, worn out or have other plans. It means being humbled and exposed at times…. And yet, its so worth it!

What are some of the benefits of basing your ministry on incarnational and relational strategies?

We share life. Good, bad, and ugly. We all feel less alone. We walk through it all together and we rejoice together. Its no longer a program, but a community. People can drop out of programs and responsibilities quickly when life is hard, and schedules feel packed but community calls and holds them, its where they want to be. Its the Kingdom of God- a sense of belonging to one another and to a calling that is bigger than us! Its being part of the body.

So, I will continue to struggle through relationships and continue to ask the Lord to keep me from causing pain and conflict in spite of myself. I will continue to hold to God’s incredible grace and mercy for me as often demonstrated through those I love and serve with.

Thanks, Travis! Your questions made me stop and reflect and I needed it. If it wasn’t for a sweet relationship that formed when this 15 year old kid wandered into a Capernaum meeting in my garage in Clovis, I would have missed yet another opportunity. Cannot wait to have Travis with us in Peru for 2 months serving and building relationships!

Travis... 15 and serving with us in 2005 with more joy & maturity than I could believe.

Settling in is a PROCESS

2011-11-03T10:41:00.001-05:00

We are settling into life in San Martin de Porres... Found mold on all all my dishes and had to start washing. Still no tank on the roof so water comes and goes. Still no hot water so cold showers. Christian is working hard to get it installed. Still no curtains and the siblings who have been helping a lot come up often. Bathroom is still... in process, no door (makes for an interesting trip to go potty when people are here working). All my clothes have mold on them as the new dresser we bought right before leaving has mold on the inside and we didn't know it. The kitchen took me all day to set up and we're still waiting for some pieces to finish making shelves and then it should get a little easier. Last night I did some grocery shopping and came back about 9pm, we were so hungry and tired with a van full of groceries. As I got out, I hear yelling and saw running about 6 houses down. 2 gangs. Rocks flying. I was ringing the doorbell frantically for Christian to open as I still don't have a key, knowing once inside the cement fortress all would be well. Called him then thought "put away the cell phone, its the easiest thing to steal." Doorbell was out of batteries but he guessed right and headed down from the 3rd floor to open up. I ran inside just as they all started running out way. Christian quiet and calm stood outside watching. I stood behind the iron door and peeked out the peek window and a guy ran up and started pushing trying to get in.... he jammed the door against my foot but Christian yelled and he took off. Christian thinks he just wanted to hide out. My heart was pounding, but as soon as I was upstairs in our house I was able to calm down, breathe deep, and Christian came. The batteries are changed on the doorbell. Next time I should probably jump back in the van and take off, but fear froze me.

the living room still with boxes, construction, curtains...

LOVE my kitchen. Worked all day yesterday & its coming together!

Right in the midst of the chaos is my office set up until I can move it downstairs!

Doorless bathroom is fun to use... a jungle gym for now, But BEAUTIFUL time!

Comfy bed... stuff everywhere as we sort, unpack, demold....

In the midst of these challenges, I am grateful for many things, anxious about some others, hopeful for yet more, and have a LOT of things to do. Missing my mom and people to help with the not-so-fun jobs like whipping mold out and doing laundry. Grateful for my husband who is working his tail off to install the hot water heater (so complicated here, he has had to install the electricity for it, piping, etc), finish shelves, drill holes in cement and brick to hang curtains... he has a list a mile long of other things he wants to do. He told me when he walked in from being in the USA he almost lost it and wanted to tear it all down and start over thinking its not good enough. While at times I want to throw up my hands because of the piles everywhere, I know I have the best apartment I could ask for and a husband who loves me more than I can fathom! I cannot wait to share when things are in order and our house becomes more of a home... in the meantime here are some pictures to remind myself and all of us that life is a process. Walking with Jesus, marraige, relationships, family is all a process and it may not look pretty in the beginning but God is faithful to complete in us what He begins... and our apartment is a small remidner of that for me today!

Married at Last!

2011-10-31T16:11:00.001-05:00

I am on my way back to Peru, but I am not the same, I am a married woman! Christian and I were married on October 16, and we truly had the happiest and most fun day of our lives. It simply could not have been better. A dear friend who is a wedding planner in the Bay Area (let me know if you are in need of one!) did an incredible job of walking me through the process before arriving to the USA and making the wedding come off without a hitch! I had an incredible peace, calm and joy the weekend of the wedding. I literally felt not an ounce of stress from the rehearsal dinner through the end, and those of you who know me know its a miracle! We had a BLAST with our friends and family from far and near, and even got to broadcast the wedding live to Peru so that our Peruvian family could be "part of the wedding." Both of us were utterly amazed at the Lord's provision for this wedding, the excellence with which so many people came along and served and worked, and the beauty of it all. The overwhelming part is sitting in a room of 200 people that LOVE US, knowing we will never all be together again this side of eternity. "How many people in their lives express the richness of this love?" we often have asked ourselves since... Simply put, it was a GLORIOUS day. The Lord was honored above all else. It was a celebration of what only God can do. I am attaching the link of the ustream video and would ask that the video along with pictures not be posted or tagged online in anyway until we have completed more visa paperwork for Christian.

I also want to take a moment to clarify and explain a little bit of how being married will affect me.... You may ask, "Does Christen still need our support?" and my answer is "YES!" While Christian has seasonal work as a translator with teams or with document translation, his outside work is not regular and more and more we sense that we, not Christen are called to Young Life's minsitry in Latin America. Christian will be joining me this year more than ever heading up work teams, helping translate some documents for our regional management team, providing support in the absence of Capernaum specific staff, and being a support to me. We both realize that I have a tendency to do the work of 2 people without taking time for my and my family... and starting a marriage we want to change that. This creates a need for even more careful time management, extra help and someone that I can pass some things off to, and someone with a better grasp of the culture to accompany me! Wow, what a gift I have been given in Christian. Christian will begin to look for more regular work after the spring and summer flurry of teams that I simply cannot do alone and is hoping to begin teaching english and exploring a future career in nursing.... something we never would have guessed!

What is Christen's name now? It will now be Christen Renee Morrow de Ara legally when the process is completed, but you can call us the Aras.

If you are not a donor and are interested in becoming a monthly donor and part of the minsitry to teens with disabilities throughout Latin America, please contact us! chosencrm@gmail.com The minsitry continues to grow and with growth comes increased financial need!

So, nothing changes as far as the minsitry continuing, the continuing need for support, prayer, and responsibility. Some of this we will share unofficially, some of it I may need to better delegate. Our passion to do this well increases as we take this on together and is what we feel keeps us in Peru. We both think we'd love to live in California someday, but sense that the time for that is not now... and may not be for several years. In the meantime, Christian and I will live in the apartment he has built in San Martin, the neighborhood in north Lima where I lived when I first came to live in Peru! While it is not a nice nieghborhood aesthetically or for its safety, its a place of great community and many long time relationships for both of us and we are looking forward to building a home together there for now.

We appreciate your encouragement, prayers, love, support, and many of you... your presence at our wedding and in our lives. The next chapter has begun. Please pray for us as we establish a home, learn how to live and love together, work and play. Please pray for safety, balance in schedule, joy and the transition as I return to the barrio!

THANK YOU for being with us in our journey!! We love you!
Christen & Christian Ara

I am attaching some links....
Our wedding can still be seen online
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/christen-christian-wedding

Our wedding website has some fun things as well!
http://ws1.ewedding.com/v30/rsvp.php?a=christenmorrow

What Is House of Mercy??? Well..... Casa de Misericordia of Course

2011-07-13T14:27:00.001-05:00

I have been mentioning House of Mercy and have shared a little here, but I think it would give more framework to us all if I just spell it out. So, here is the vision, mission, and plan!

Miriam enjoying going for a walk where she can see trees, green grass
and listen to birds! Something she does not have at home

Casa de Misericordia… House of Mercy

A collaborative effort of Asociación Cristiano El Refugio and Young Life Capernaum Ministries

'Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the town. Bring in those who are poor. Also bring those who can't walk, the blind and the disabled.' Luke 14:21

Vision

People with disabilities in situations of extreme poverty find a place of refuge where they can develop their abilities, learn practical skills to increase independence, become part of a family and community based effort to increase awareness, access to services, understanding of rights and collaboration among people affected by disability as Christians minister them to in tenderness and mercy, reflecting the love of Jesus, and sharing the good news of the gospel!

Mission

We believe that every person is to be cared for with dignity and love, that each person is created in God’s image and holds indispensable value to the body of Christ and the world. We consider those that we serve to be our friends rather than clients. We believe that when cared for and loved with structure and appropriate experiences, every person can develop to greater levels of independence, self-realization, and integration into society. Our friends receive rehabilitative therapy including physical and occupational therapy, as well as social, emotional and behavioral guidance. In addition, our friends help learn basic food preparation, assist as much as they are able in making meals, are taught personal care and hygiene, offered workshops to develop their abilities (whatever those might be), build healthy and appropriate friendships and receive the message of the good news of Jesus Christ at a level that they can understand. Services and transportation are offered without cost to our friends, requiring only commitment from the family to participate in the process and implement the programs in their home.

Bringing Them In

The greatest needs for those with disabilities are often in the northern and southern cones, or extremes of Lima. In these areas, there is little access to education, healthcare, or transportation for an able bodied person, and this is nonexistent for those with disabilities. Therefore, the Casa De Misericordia team goes to those far corners, to the lanes and roads and shacks in shantytowns to bring our friends in. This comes at great cost as the northern and southern cones can be up to 2 hours away, it sometimes is met by some resistance as families tend to see members with disabilities as nothing but a burden and expense, and yet it has the potential to transform the individual, family, and community that watches.

In the gospel of Luke, chapter 14 speaks of a banquet in which many are invited, and many choose not to come. When the excuses are made and the invitation is extended to those who are poor, crippled, blind, and lame, we see the tenderness of God’s heart revealed. The master urges the servant not just to bring them, but to go and make them come in, and in some translations, compel them to come in. The servant is instructed to go to the country roads and lanes, to the hidden places, to seek out those who have been missed. The heart of God for broken people is evident and we are being asked to carry out His instructions as the servants of the Master. It is not enough to make an invitation and sit back to see who will come, this passage is calling us to action, to seek and to bring people to the banquet so that our Father’s house will be full!

Doris' children decorated the ramp for our friend in wheelchairs with love and prayers!

Perhaps the most shameful and difficult disabilities in a developing country are those hidden disabilities. El Refugio has been receiving infants whose mothers are unable to care for them or have abandoned them due to psychosocial or physical disabilities for the past 10 years. El Refugio is dedicated to ministering to the whole family, and Casa de Misericordia will work closely with these mothers to offer community, therapy, dignity and the Gospel.

Community Partnerships

We believe that the greatest transformation will come when the community is a part of the process of care, rehabilitation, and sharing of the gospel. The primary partnerships is between El Refugio’s Casa de Misericordia and Algo Nuevo Young Life’s Capernaum (ministry to teenagers with disabilities) the Deafblind association of Peru (training massage therapists for dignified work), MIMDES and INABIF, (government services for women and children at risk), and the Potter’s Hand Foundation (providing nutritional formula to those at high risk). We also partner with churches who have been trained in ministering to people with disabilities, student therapists from universities wanting to practice and volunteer their time, and lawyers, judges, social workers and child welfare services to minister to the whole person. Involving local salons for hair cuts, local parks and attractions to offer recreational activities enhances the transformation of our friends with disabilities, but also of those who give, grow, gain new perspective and serve. Young Life’s Capernaum ministry partners specifically with El Refugio to train and empower volunteers in sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ with these young people and to offer Young Life clubs, camps, and social activities.

Angel learning to walk with one of the volunteer student therapists.

We believe that the whole family must be involved to empower the member with a disability, as well as those who must provide care and support. We carefully screen applicants to choose those whose family demonstrates a strong desire and or potential to learn and be an active participant. The application process includes at least one visit to the home prior to acceptance to assess needs and potential as well as interview family members. The rehabilitation process includes quarterly visits to the home by a social worker as well as more frequent visits from the team from Casa de Misericordia to follow up on therapeutic techniques, hygiene processes and behavioral interventions in the home and above all ministry to the hearts. We envision families empowered to care for their child or loved one and then to carry this out in their community and even teach others!

Therapy and Workshops

Teenagers with Physical and Developmental Disabilities

We work with teenagers and young adults with physical and developmental disabilities offering structure and rhythm to their days. Physical and occupational therapy students teach our friends and their family members basic exercises to be done at home and even visit the home to find simple adaptations that can be made to the house or to activities of daily living such as dressing oneself, making a bed, sweeping, and meal preparation. Art, music, dance, and sensory experiences allow for expression and communication outlets as well as exercise for verbal and nonverbal clients. Activities and games that develop small and gross motor skills for clients are offered to develop current skills that can create dignified work in the future. Outings to nearby parks and corner stores provide opportunities for exercise, social interactions with neighbors and very basic money management skills where our friends learn to count and pay for their purchases. A hot shower and a careful eye on skin breakdown, pressure sores, lice treatment and a clean change of clothes are a highlight of the program for many of our friends.

Miriam is in charge of washing the dishes when we're done with lunch and LOVES it!

We hope to soon enroll our friends in a special nutrition program where they will receive a formula supplement 3 times per week. This will be accompanied by working with families to learn about the nutritional value in the most natural and inexpensive foods of Peru, how to prepare them, and how to plan a balanced diet.

Sweet Magaly has suffered much and is often sad, but nothing makes her happy like food!

Ultimate Goal

Our ultimate desire and goal for each of our friends is a dignified life, development of their abilities, whatever those may be, and the security of belonging to a family, a community, and to their Maker. While the limitations of disability in a developing country like Peru are very real, we believe that with encouragement, love, and the tender mercy of God, each person can become a contributing and valuable member of society. We also recognize that dignity ascribed to a human being will not come through the law, but through a heart that understands the value of each life created by a loving Father who wants to know them. Therefore we work closely with the law and government agencies such as CONADIS, MIMDES, and INABIF but also freely give the love and mercy of Jesus!

How Can I Help… Immediate needs

Hire a House Director…

In order to develop these programs we must hire the director who would work 5 days/week from 7am to 6pm developing these programs, networking the community contacts and volunteers, contacting social workers, lawyers, and families and making home visits. The great news is that we have the person! Julia Chuquitaype has worked among people with psychosocial, physical and developmental and sensory disabilities at levels of legislation, guide/interpreting, advocate, and program development in churches and non-profit organizations in Peru for 5 years. Her compassion and mercy flow from life experiences and a heart that has been moved by the mercy of God. Julia has made herself available as a volunteer and is currently continuing her work as a graphic designer at night and on the weekends to free her up for this position. In order to hire her and include a benefits package, social security, and monthly salary, we need to raise $1,000 month.

Sponsor a Teenager or Mother

Transportation from the far corners of Lima, healthy food, vitamins, therapy, personal toiletries, and all the love, compassion and mercy will cost us close to $300/month for each friend we serve. The reality of this cost can be overwhelming but we must remember that this includes 3 days/week of professional therapy services, door-to-door transportation, specially prepared meals, and much more. We are looking for individuals who will sponsor these kids monthly to cover ongoing expenses.

$50/month

$100/month

$300/month (full scholarship)

Remodel Bathroom

While we’ve been blessed with a wonderful house purchased for el Refugio by a Swiss couple for this ministry, we need to remodel the bathroom to make it wheelchair accessible as bathing and toileting are an important part of what we teach and offer. The remodel will cost an estimated $3,000.

GIVE TO CAPERNAUM LATIN AMERICA

(House of Mercy is a ministry of Capernaum Peru)

www.younglife.org/giving/ CHOOSE AREA X396

or checks with x396 on memo Young Life/ PO BOX 520 Colorado Springs, CO 80901

Giving questions? 877-438-9572

Bring a Team

Perhaps you would like to bring a team to put on a camp for our teenagers, a retreat for our mothers, work on a construction project, or have some specific training to bring to our volunteers… we welcome you! We also welcome long term fully supported missionaries to form a part of our team. Email Christen at casademisericordiaperu@gmail.com for more information!

For the Sake of One...

2011-07-06T02:29:00.000-05:00

I am seeing God's provision down to little details. For House of Mercy I made a list today of things to buy for this week (toilet paper, baby wipes, Kleenex, a set of sheets and more towels)... then I get a call this evening from my friend Erin telling me a short term team that was leaving has donations for us to pick up. I headed right over because they were all leaving the guest house. Guess what I found in the bags.... you guessed it! All of those things. Towels and sheets are in the wash now. Will be ready for Friday! Now I just need bleach and vinegar! :-)

The House of Mercy team met to pray this afternoon. I specifically asked that the Lord would continue to miraculously provide for the things we need, even the things we don't know we need. I asked for Him to provide before we could share the need with anyone else. He HAS! AGAIN! I have not officially told the story of House of Mercy on my blog yet. In short, my dear friend Doris and I were praying about when to begin this vision we’d birthed in our hearts some time ago… a house where people without access to therapy, the gospel or caring relationships could come and receive those things for free. We prayed. Doris felt it was time to begin. Oh me of little faith felt like I could not take on one more thing so I bargained with God “When we have 2 mattresses, a carpet, and therapy manipulatives/toys, we’ll know you’ve asked us to start.” I prayed that thinking I had bought myself some time… maybe a year. We agreed not to share those needs with anyone but to wait. Sure enough, the next day an unexpected drop of donations at Doris’ house included 2 mattresses, a carpet, and therapy manipulatives/toys like puzzles, blocks, things to sort, a bean bag chair… and more. My honest response “Oh, crap. Wasn’t expecting it so soon…. Here we go Lord!”

In 2 weeks we had so many things in place, it was unbelievable. Only God could orchestrate this, especially with Doris and my full plates with ministry responsibility and commitments. So we began. We thought we’d start with 2 kids, Miriam and Angel, but Magaly came into the picture. Its too much to try to explain all that’s happened in these 3 kids lives in the past 5 weeks, but suffice it to say, its miraculous, its powerful, we’ve seen life come from the ashes and death in which they lives. I will have to take another blog to tell their stories if they will give me permission. Their pain and suffering are so deep and God’s work of redemption he has begun seem so sacred I wonder if I can really share them in words without robbing the sacredness of it.

Angel working on his posture & walking with a therapist

Since a brief visit with my friend Michelle Smith in Fresno, I have been pondering the phrase of "for the sake of one..." What God does for the sake of one teenager... or 3 teenagers who are pretty much forgotten, cast off, and left for dead.

Let me list some of the things He has put into place for the sake of one, another, and another (Miriam, Angel, and Magaly) soon to be many others

1. A Swiss couple (Monika and Peter) felt lead to sell their home in Switzerland 3 years ago and move into a converted bus, sleep in bunk beds and live simply in their retirement in order to purchase another home for El Refugio's ministry in Lima, Peru.

2. Doris, who never had an interest in people with disabilities began to feel a desire to use the home somehow for people with disabilities. She began to see young people with disabilities whom she could not turn away from

3. I needed a missionary visa to stay in the country. A church agreed to give that to me if I would serve on Doris’ El Refugio board to relieve the pastor of his duties. My role on the board became to develop a ministry in the house… House of Mercy.

4. Miraculous provision as told above of the materials needed to begin… things I didn’t think we would get for a year and little by little.

5. A Christian dentist whose heart was touched and offered to see our kids for free

6. A neurologist with a sensitive heart towards people with disabilities who happened to have studied in Switzerland in his youth and was impressed to meet Doris, her Swiss German speaking kids, and offered to come to House of Mercy to follow our friends’ cases; diagnosis, treatment, and care…. Free.

7. A friend, Julia with YEARS of experience with deaf blind interpretive guiding, multiple disabilities, disability ministry and sensitivity training, an amazing cook, mother, and a woman whose presence draws you into the Lord’s presence is so moved by the vision, she take it on. Completely. Julia begins work a couple of days each week at 3am in order to be free for House of Mercy on Fridays and for home visits during the week. She dreams of being freed up to develop House of Mercy full time!

8. Community Based Rehabilitation is a new program in Peru funded by a UK based non profit. They have agreed to send 2 therapists to House of Mercy weekly to give therapy to our friends and also to visit homes and help adapt therapeutic techniques to their daily home life within humble conditions

9. A man in Julia’s church hears of the terrible conditions Magaly lives in (on a plastic sheet with newspaper to absorb her waste) and offers to purchase her a new bed…. The sheets came this evening with the donation!

10. Julia’s church surrounds the desperate situation of Magaly’s family with groceries and weekly visits, medicine needed to cover emergency healthcare needs, rides to church for Magaly and her 2 children who also have disabilities, and much more.

11. A man from Doris’ church who lives far outside of Lima but 30 minutes from Angel and Miriam’s home offers to pick them up and bring them to Lima for House of Mercy on Fridays! He takes his car up a dusty, rocky, unpaved road at the top of the furthest hill next to the cemetery to lovingly bring them down to the city and then when his long day is over, he brings them all the way home!

12. A neighbor from my apartment building was so touched by the story of House of Mercy that he went to buy groceries… enough non perishable items for 4 weeks’ lunches!

13. A lady who cuts my hair was so impressed that while she could not offer to receive the kids in the salon since she is not the owner, she offered to come in the mornings before work if we need her to give the kids haircuts and the girls manicures.

The ramp the kids painted and prayed over

14. Doris’ German volunteer builds a perfect ramp for the house, her 10 older children paint it lovingly and with prayers as a project to serve our friends from House of Mercy.

15. People… the keep coming. One comes who loves to cook. One comes who loves to bathe the kids. Another young woman with speech therapy experience begins working with Angel. 2 more therapy students come. We have 6 people prepared to care for 3 friends… ready and waiting for more!

16. A walker is donated so Angel can learn to walk. He cannot get over watching the cars are scarce where he lives.

17. Funding… a fundraising tour in California produced almost $4,000 especially for House of Mercy. This means we can cover our transportation costs, food, and even buy medications, vitamins, and plan some special outings.

18. Opened eyes… Magaly recently understood the gospel message and made a decision to give her life to Christ. The young woman we were told 3 weeks before did not speak or understand repeated every word of a prayer after which she began to clap her hands and with a faraway look in her eyes declare “I see Jesus, I see Him.” I think she did. God opened her eyes to see Jesus

…..I could go on. Still so much more to tell. I must tell. I must declare the miraculous provision and grace of God!

So, for the sake of one, for the sake of 3… God is moving mightily. It may not be the most strategic of plans to reach the multitudes, but I am uninterested in a worldly view of strategic. God’s Kingdom, His ridiculous, scandalous, generosity of love, mercy, provision for the sake of one is what I am caught up in! I know there will be more… more kids, more provision, more miraculous stories. More young women like Magaly and Miriam who have suffered, like Angel who desperately want to belong, to be given a chance, like Angela who I will meet this week that is deaf and delayed who was recently violated… more of these friends will be brought in and adopted into the family of God.

Magaly has begun to eat, in fact she does not want to stop!

Miriam enjoying a walk outside with trees, flowers, cars & color

And Lord willing, a Capernaum team will soon be ready to be an incarnational embodiment of Jesus to these friends and their families at House of Mercy and in their homes…. I can hardly wait to see what the Lord has for us!

A Dream for Peru

2011-05-30T12:50:00.000-05:00

Friends, I want to share something that is sacred to me. Its a dream that has been stirring for years and recently written. What I share with you is not my own, its the Lord's. Yesterday it was shared in a class of people from a local church doing Joni and Friends' "Hearts in Motion" Bible study at the closing. While writing this paper and yesterday, I have had intense migraines and clear attacks from the enemy. I have sensed that my writing was literally a spiritual battle, and began to ask people to pray (just a few who wouldn't think I was crazy) when I wrote. and things began to flow! We are speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves and we are confronting the spiritual forces of darkness that stand in opposition to the lost being found, the orphaned having families.... we are calling the body to live out the gospel of Christ, and our enemy trembles. But our God is voctorious!

A pastor who has been hesitent to embrace minsitry with people with disabilities came to the class yesterday, was moved, but undone with the dream. Meetings are beginning already to begin to move. He was convicted that more must participate in the class and be a part of this holy calling to the heart of Jesus among people with disabilities.... My sense is that this dream is not just for Peru, friends. Its for the Church Universal!

I have a dream for Peru. I have a dream that one day the body of Christ will rise up and answer its call to the orphans, to the oppressed, to the disabled. I have a dream that one day from the shantytown hills of Huaycan and Pachacutec to the suburban communities and business districts of Miraflores and San Isidro, from the jungles of Pucallpa to the Andes mountains and valleys of the Colca Canyon... believers will gather together as one body. I dream of a church filled with able bodied and disabled, intelligent and those with retardation, orphans and parented… worshipping together, belonging to one another.

I see a businessman in a fresh pressed suit reaching for the worn hand of a hard working woman who carries on her back her disabled teenage son, dusty, dirty, and worn out. I see an older women whose life and children have seen great success sitting on the floor of an orphanage to hold and rock a 13-year-old who has never known a tender touch of love, knowing only the hands of abusers and of caregivers lifting her crippled body in and out of wheelchairs and beds.

I see pastors being influenced, taught, and accompanied by friends with Down Syndrome and Autism, friends who are blind… friends who may see what they do not see! I see orphans brought into families, if not in houses of families, into the family of God. I dream of a generation of leaders prepared to help this come about! I see small expressions of the Kingdom breaking forth into the world here and now with group homes and orphanages being invaded by Christ lovers, with ramps being added and lovingly built so those using wheelchairs can be a part of churches, with food and clothes and tenderness being shared with those who need it most. I see worship teams and Sunday school staff including friends whose worship is different, maybe even loud or off key, I see sign language used as an expression of worship that moves not only the deaf, but the hearing into a deeper sense of God’s presence. I dream of a fuller house, a church that’s been filled by those in the highways and byways and those of us already in the church compelling them to come in. AND I dream of us together in God’s presence, all colors, abilities and backgrounds celebrating HIM, free and whole and unencumbered in His presence and united by His love.

Abundance in Poverty

2011-05-17T22:27:00.000-05:00

I read something today that has had me thinking all day from my Jesus Calling devotional by Sarah Young. I sometimes think her devotionals are a little sappy and lack the meat and depth, but this one has me. A few simple lines…

“…Remember I am a God of abundance. I will never run out of resources; My capacity to bless you is unlimited. You live in a world of supply and demand, where necessary things are often scarce. Even if you personally have enough, you see poverty in the world around you. It is impossible for you to comprehend the lavishness of my provisions; the fullness of my glorious riches. … Even now you have access to as much of me as you have faith to receive. Rejoice in my abundance; walk by faith and not by sight.”

This is true for all people in all places, but I think that the reality of staring poverty in the face on a daily basis, watching people that I know and love struggle to buy bread and rice to feed their children, to be able to purchase some used shoes, to get into the line where they are giving away free milk before its gone wears on me. I think it has crept into my thinking and subconscious. I want to be generous, I must be as I have been given so much, but what about generous with what seems scarce? Time? Volunteers and people? Energy? Do I believe that if I take time to sit and listen and pray with a neighbor there will be enough time for me to get to work on my paper, finish the long to-do list, prepare for tomorrow’s meeting and rest? Do I believe that if we cover the cost of the foundation that must be dug at my friends’ house in a shanty town where the neighbors’ sand walls have collapsed on her home three times I will be able to pay rent and still have some emergency funds? What about if I give time to another ministry to help them develop their program, open a small day clinic and visit teenagers in far and forgotten shanty towns of Lima…. Will Young Life Capernaum Latin America get enough of me?

Those questions come from a place of knowing the reality of poverty that surrounds me and knowing the poverty of my own soul. Will there be enough milk before the last single mom with 5 hungry kids makes it to the line after a full day of washing clothes by hand for a couple of dollars? Probably not. Will I get to everything on my list if I take the time to pray with that neighbor? Nope… the list and the emails never end. Will the emergency funds always be there… only until the emergency arrives, and it may not be my emergency that they are used for. So, I must choose… do I approach life from the reality of my poversty and that of this world or from a place of knowing God’s abundance, provision, power, and limitless resources.

What happens if I believe in his limitless resources? I think it means I stop and pray and listen and am present and watch those limitless resources fill a heart that has longed for years. I think it means the trips to the top of the sand-hill shack next to the cemetery 2 hours away are worth it because two teenagers need to hear the gospel, need some interventions, need the Kingdom of God with His righteousness and justice established by His people in their midst. I think it means that next week we need to have the foundation dug and the wall built so that this precious woman, an orphan, a single moms, and a powerful servant to other children at risk can sleep without fear of two tons of sand falling on her home, this is the emergency. I think it means that my work for Young Life Capernaum is to be about the Father’s business of building God’s kingdom and helping teenagers meet Christ in Lima and beyond. I think it means that if one of “my” volunteers wants to serve in another ministry I must bless her, encourage her, and joyfully let her go. It means most of all, that I MUST BELIEVE that my Father has all resources in His hands. It means I must trust Him and be refreshed by Him, ask Him for more faith to receive more of Him.

I keep thinking of this line, repenting for my lack of faith, and asking Jesus for more!

“Even now you have access to as much of me as you have faith to receive.”

Three Years Ago Today... I Moved to Peru!!

2011-05-05T11:06:00.002-05:00

Today marks my third anniversary of living 'la vida loca' in Peru! On May 4, 2008 I boarded a plane and landed in the wee hours of the morning on May 5 and was met by my 'brother in law' as I often call him, Luis Gonzales and Christian Ara... little did I know that this “Christian kid” would become one of the most significant relationships in my life! Below in an excerpt from my journal...

May 4, 2008

"The long awaited day is here. Long ride to the airport, anxiety getting everything onto the plane with extra luggage and a dog. Lots of emotion. Moments of fear and wondering what I am doing. Saying goodbye to mom was the hardest, I had to go before either of us teared up. Peace has settled in on the plane... You are right and good, Lord. I am just to go and will know what to do in the going. You are trustworthy and my Beloved. I will follow you with joy, counting the cost. I want to be used by you.

I want to trust your provision for finances, a van, a home, a community and every detail. I am stepping in as I come with no home, car, furniture, and little planned.

Ruth 1:16 Your people will be my people... In leaving 'my people,' Lord, this is the cry of my heart. Where you go, I will go. Your people will be my people. I consider it my honor to know, love, and belong to you and your people. As a wife follows her husband, I will follow you and embrace you and yours. My love for you is deepening and I go willingly because I want to be with you. I am on my tippy toes waiting for surprises, Father... here we go!"

And surprise me He has... with finances, with a family in Monica, Luis and Sofia, with a "daughter" for a season and a niece for life in the gift of caring for Raquel through her first year of life, with a home in San Martin, then Callao, now in Magdalena, with a van for the ministry, with a wonderful community of friends like Sarah Dobrin, Vanessa Remington, Liliana Sanchez, Rosana Matias, Linda Sipiran, Monica my 'sister', Adeline, Jess, Erin, Gretchen, Deb an amazing ministry leadership team including Lesly, Lucero, Flory, Carlos, Janet, Samuel, Patty, Walter, and others, a church, neighbors and ministry partners like El Refugio and Doris. He has surprised me with short term teams who've sacrificed greatly and given freely from all over Oregon, California, Arizona, and my hometown, Fresno. He has blessed me with timely visits from family and dear friends. And one of the greatest gifts I could never have imagined has been Christian, the man I love and who loves me in spite of me!

Today I am grateful above all for my Beloved, my Father, my Savior who has walked with me, comforted me, protected me, guided me. He has spoken encouragement and correction. He has stripped me and then built me up. He has never left my side and has been true to all His promises.

In January of 2008 as I prepared to come, He spoke to me from

Psalms 121:7-8

The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and coming in from this time forth and forevermore."

and Psalm 91:9-15 as I grew more aware of the dangers of traffic, taxis, buses and a big city

"Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place- the Most High who is my Refuge, no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone... I will protect him because he knows My name. When he calls to me, I will answer him, I will be with him in trouble, I will rescue him and honor him..."

Many asked if I had a timeline or commitment with Young Life for my time in Peru. My only response was that I had sensed from the Lord "go for 3 years and don't look back... then you will know...." So here I am, I cannot say I have not looked back but God has carried me through. He has been faithful and now, 3 years later I know that my call to Peru with Christian will be for a lifetime. Not sure when and where I will live in the USA again, at some point, I am sure. But I feel as though I could shout for joy at God's faithfulness to me and my joy in seeing His provision now, 3 years later.

Here is to another 3 years or 30 years... in Peru or wherever the Lord may lead us!!

A break

2011-04-25T17:39:00.000-05:00

My dear friend Tiffany came for spring break... and I took a break! No work, no studies, no Lima. Tiffany and I flew into Arequipa, a colonial city in southern Peru that was my first introduction to Peru 13 years ago! We took a tour of the Colca Canyon.... comperable to the Grand Canyon in the USA and were able to visit little pueblos, see life as its is still lived, animals, handicrafts and landscapes, blue skies and clouds that were without equal.

I need to get out of Lima more often was my main conclusion.

This world God has created with all its color, diversity, landscapes, and peoples is marvelous.

The pain of this broken world.... not just the teens and children I know who have been abandoned is deep. Many elderly women outlive their husbands and their children leave for a better life/education/career in the big cities, leaving them to beg, to collect plastic bottles, and sometimes to die lonely and hungry. I met and heard stories from some of these precious women!

Real community, friendships, sharing is so so precious. I am thankful for this woman!

Gifts that pass through many hands

2011-04-12T10:12:00.000-05:00

I often get to be the deliverer of wonderful gifts; clothing, groceries, equipment, diapers, formula, and many other essential and often economically out-of-reach gifts for precious people in Peru. I often get to see the teary eyes and feel the hugs, see the smiles that are just glimpses of hope giving way in the midst of so much desperation. It is an honor that I cannot put into words. I try to explain that these gifts come from God and His people, not from me.... from donors, friends, churches, even strangers who hear of a need and are stirred to meet it. So, this is a thank you, a public declaration to the goodness of God and the generosity of His people from all over.

Some of you know of Samuel, a precious boy who came to live with Doris in her home for children only a few days after his birth. Doris loves to look into the birth family situation and seek to minister hope and healing with the gospel even to those who've abandoned their kids. Well, Samuel's mother was not hard to find. Miriam has Cerebral Palsy and has spent her life sitting or laying or crawling about in the dusty and desolate hills of Huaycan, a shanty town outside of Lima. About 4 years ago, her mother who works long and hard hours to provide for her 7 children was surprised when Miriam's younger sister called her attention to her swelling belly. Miriam was 17. Miriam was pregnant. Although its never been confirmed who raped Miriam, we have our suspicions and the realities are terrifying. Miriam was placed into a government run orphanage that is far from ideal. Its a home where hundreds of girls live, and the "house" for girls with disabilities feels like a wrecking yard for human souls. Some of these girls were abandoned 30 years ago and family has never come to get them, so they lay curled up in a ball on the cement.... waiting to die. Others, still have a twinkle of life and hope in their eyes. Miriam did from the day I met her. Samuel has the same twinkle, in fact, we all marvel at the beauty, health, and life that has come from pain, abuse, and injustice in Samuel's life!

Samuel laughs a lot....

We have worked with Miriam's mother, Samuel's grandmother quite a bit and have been able to minister to her and her 2 youngest sons living at home. Angel, the next youngest under Miriam also has Cerebral Palsy. He is a precious kid with so much desire to learn, to grow, to develop. Angel has never been to school or had therapy, but when we got him a walker last year, he was DETERMINED! Angel is walking now with that walker anywhere he can find steady ground to practice on. Bryan, the younger brother is Angel's best friend and caregiver. He deeply loves his brother and wants to protect him. Their relationship is beautiful. We are concerned for the safety of the kids, concerned to help her find a job with some dignity and enough wages to not leave her 2 disabled kids home for hours on end.... She has made some progress though we continue to wait to see if a promised social welfare project will purchase a cart from which she can sell food from her front door will be given.

On the way up.... this is the lower part where there is actually electricty and water... none where they live!

After years in this home, Miriam's mother, Samuel's grandmother decided to take her home. Last month I spent 10 hours at the Child Welfare office experiencing what it must feel like to be overlooked, disregarded, lied to and taken advantage of. We were told to be present to receive her at 10am. Throughout the day we were told at least 30 times that she was "on her way, in the car" and the home is only 20 minutes away. At 8pm, Miriam finally entered the building... walking!! While we had visited her with the mother a few times, neither of us had seen her walk. She had a walker, had gotten some therapy, and looked so dignified. Miriam entered with a smile, a small bag in her hand, and nasty and rude social worker behind.

As we loaded Miriam and her small bag of belongings into the taxi, I began to explain to her that she would meet Samuel, that Samuel has a wonderful mother who loves him, that he is safe and protected, has food to eat and speaks to languages.... but the she was the one who had given him the gift of life and that we are all so thankful for that. She help up the little grocery bag of cookies that were her parting gift from her friends at the orphanage and ever so quietly whispered "para mi hijo..." (for my son). I cried. The meeting was awkward, it was scary for Samuel as the other kids began to tell him "Samuel, its your mom..." Samuel ran crying to Doris and Miriam turned her head away in shame. My heart was heavy.

A few days later we received a call that the clothes sent as her "belongings" were old, torn, baggy men's size XL clothes and they literally had nothing of hers. All she owned had been sent with her and evidently lost in the orphanage. They did not have a bed for her. She was sitting in the ground and crawling because they did not send her home with a wheelchair. We got to work! Facebook statuses bring about amazing results. I posted the need for clothing and friends began to call. A small missions team from Canada pulled together 2 bags of adorable, feminine, quality clothes. Another friend brought over her most stylish and quality clothing. I was amazed. God does not just provide, he does so abundantly!

I emailed a friend in the USA who also has Cerebral Palsy, a friend who I used to do therapy for. Terra confirmed that she had a wheelchair sitting in the garage and I knew it would be in excellent shape because Terra takes such good care of her things. Terra had a chair in Fresno,CA. A team would be coming in 2 days from San Luis Obispo, CA, we just needed to get it there. Several emails with possibilities went back in forth, including a company willing to transport it in their truck and in the end my dear "sister" and her mother Sarah and Marilyn jumped in the car and drove 4 hours there and back to deliver it. That night, the chair was loaded on an airplane with a team of young people from San Luis who was willing to pay the extra baggage fee. Sunday afternoon, I had the chair at my house and Monday morning we loaded the chair, clothes, and a bed purchased by friends in Switzerland into Doris's van and made the long trek up into the hills.

Long story short, the gifts were extravagant expressions of the extravagant love of our God. The clothes were the right size, perfectly! The pink roxy jacket was like a dream come true. The purses so fun. The wheelchair could not have fit better of a Quickie technician himself had custom built it.... I didn't need to make a single adjustment. The bright shining purple chair was like a new bike on Christmas for Miriam.

Sister Luz, Angel, Christen, Miriam, Doris and Samuel, Bryan in their home

Samuel and Miriam got to know each other a little bit more without pressure and without labels of "mom." There is much to be done and we're praying and dreaming of how we can help this family, but I am amazed at home many hands these gifts passed through with so much love to be delivered to those who often feel forgotten!

I think of this verse...
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!"
Isaiah 49:15

Thank you to the many who had a hand in this special delivery and in so much more. We continue to share the only true hope we know with these friends, the hope of Jesus and His Word to make lasting changes in a life!

2011-04-05T09:41:00.002-05:00

Been wondering why I have not written in so long??? Well, this thing called school has been consuming my time! I am writing my final papers for my master's degree from Fuller Theological Seminary and its been an amazing learning experience! I thought I would share a recent writing from an excercise of "exegeting the city" for a class on urban leadership development!

Living in Lima, Peru has brought me to an incredible diversity of places. I have lived in 3 homes in three different districts. Although I love living in Magdalena with more order, green areas, near enough to walk to the cliffs along the coast, I often return to the barrio where I first lived and where I will return to live when Christian and I get married. As I read Ray Bakke’s book, I was reminded of this idea that God loves the city, not just the people who dwell there. Where many people dwell, difficulty exists, cycles that war against the Kingdom thrive and signs of hope break through to establish the Kingdom that is, yet is to come… it is there that I must learn to find the hope and passion of God!

San Martin de Porres

San Martin de Porres was an “invasion” about 50 years ago… unclaimed land was taken over by families lead by a land trafficker and small, temporary homes were set up. As time has gone on, wood construction and eventually cement and brick buildings replaced these homes. A community of nearly 1 million people, in itself is very diverse. I took an afternoon though to go with a different set of eyes, this time not as Christen who lived on cuadra 38 de Jr. Ancash, but as an observer. I started on the bus at about 3pm on a Saturday, it appeared to be on of the worst possible hours. People seemed to have chosen this as the day to do all of their shopping near the center of Lima and since my bus stop was on the way back to SMP, I shared very small amount of space with big bags of vegetables, used clothes bought downtown to be sold, some strange collection of metal rebar shaped into something I do not know how to explain, and countless other bundles. There was standing room only, so I crammed along the aisle with the other 25 people shoved in body to body and held on for dear life and the adventure that buses usually are in Lima! I arrived at a dear friends’ house where people from the ministry often gather and took a stroll through the local market where I first learned to bargain for fruits and vegetables; this time with ears, eyes, and nose looking for things I had not seen before. I ate at a small sandwich stand and listened to the woman’s story. I grabbed some seasonal fruit and wandered through areas I usually avoid. I walked back to where the teenagers from Young Life in the barrio tend to hang our and just observed their joy, their pain, the sharing of stories, all on the corner of Avenida Lima and Jr. Huancayo. As I rode back on the bus that evening, this time with much more space and even a seat, I reflected on the following.

Buses in Lima are always an adventure!

The bus ride there, the situation of people cramming into unsafe rides where a person could easily fall out of the open door with a sudden stop and the packages, bundles, bags that each person carried seemed like their hope, their investments for the week at times felt hopeless. The man in his mid twenties who got on the bus to tell his sad story of being a father and needing to provide for his kids and proceeding to try to sell his small plastic needle threaders seems somewhere between sad and pathetic. Just as I thought “are you kidding me? Needle threaders!? No one will buy those,” I watched at least 5 people reach in their pockets to pull out a sol (equivalent of about $0.37)… and some of them I was sure had no intent of threading a needle. It happened again when a woman with a baby tied onto her back came on with small candies. This was not a hopeless; it was a people who cared for their neighbor… even if all they could offer was a sol or a few cents. The candy and the needle threader were not the draw, it was the “colaborar” that was called out in these Peruvian men and women. I also saw great hope when an older man and woman boarded this too-full bus and all of the bags, people, and boxes shifted to make space and to give them seats to sit in. A kid in his mid teens jumped up and grabbed his girlfriend so that their seats could be given to the couple. A woman with 3 small children boarded and I watched another woman reach down to pick up one of the smaller ones; she held this stranger’s child while the woman found a place and settled in the other two kids. A sign of hope; respect and honor for elders, for women and small children.

Chicken.... fresh and ready to go, heads, necks, feet, flies and all... But seriously, its FRESH and I do buy it!

The market yielded sights and smells, not all of which I enjoyed. Fresh meat hanging in the open air in sweltering heat with flies and bees all over them tends to turn my stomach. Perhaps the fact that this does not phase the shoppers as they go about purchasing it shocks me more. The luxury of refrigerated and pre-packaged meat is not a reality for most of these Peruvians, and for the older generation it has never even been a consideration. I enjoyed the bartering back and forth for prices with veggies and fruit as I always do, but walked away asking myself “Does my getting the rock bottom price feed my ego more than it feeds the sellers’ family?”

The markets are busy, crowded, but so much fun to peruse!

I saw some familiar faces where I used to shop and stopped by to greet my favorite seamstress. The sense of community as I sat on a small wooden bar stool at a make shift table to eat a sandwich and a glass of orange juice was beautiful, another sign of hope. Amidst the filth of the streets, the crowds, the danger of gangs or theft, there was community. Another sense of God’s Kingdom breaking through as people gather and belong to one another and break bread together.

Veggies and fruits in this country are some of my favorite things. God's art, great prices, straight from the farms!

Returning to the corner of Avenida Lima and Huancayo I found a group of kids and young leaders. Some I knew, many were new faces. The streets were dirty, stained by trash, paint, even the oil and waste from car repairs. Graffiti covered the wall of a school that looked pretty freshly painted. Homeless dogs wandered around digging through the bags of trash that sat waiting for the daily 7pm pickup, which was to happen in a few minutes. The sound of the triangle being struck and a bell being rung had mothers running down the stairs and even tossing out the windows their last bag of trash from the day to catch the truck before it turned the corner. Men ran behind the truck grabbing and tossing bags into the trash bin. A couple of kids kicked back and forth a soccer ball, the loud laughter, sarcasm, cutting humor and competition tends to make me edgy, but this time I sat back as an observer with Christian by my side. My heart breaks for the insults, jokes, sarcasm and harshness that they use with one another. It points to the lack of security in many of their homes and lives, but its their communication style. The silence would be more painful, more offensive. I was reminded again of the love of God for these kids, but also for their city. I was reminded of the hope found in gathering, in belonging. I watched a leader who sat on the edge of a wall engrossed in a deep conversation with a kid who looked to be asking hard questions. Hope. Relationships bring hope. This was no ministry meeting or event, it was the impromptu gathering of people who belong to one another.

A leader and a student sharing life!

Conclusion

Though I prefer cleanliness, order, established rules and the safety it all brings, I was able to “find God in the city.” I could see my own prejudices towards the orderly life that rarely affords the same sense of community that barrios like San Martin and urban areas around the world often do. The clashing of cultures of the more educated and economically stable neighborhoods with the more traditional barrio is incredibly diverse, but the beauty is to be appreciated. I sensed that regardless of weather or not these people knew Christ, their entering into community, gathering together, offering their seat for an older couple… were all acts of God’s Kingdom being established. The city is restored and redeemed on some level when this happens. I was refreshed by a different perspective and want to continue to look through these eyes and this perspective as I leave a very green, clean and orderly area of Lima to head back to the barrio in a few months!

In San Martin there are tons of these moto-taxis. Cheaper than a taxi to get a kid to school and groceries home!

Capernaum Peru goes to Young Life's camp for the day!

2011-01-22T20:52:00.002-05:00

As we pulled away in the big INABIF bus, even before that, something was holy in the air. A team from Westgate church came last year to help with Capernaum at camp, but swine flu caused camp to be cancelled. Instead we spent some disciplined time in prayer walking around the vicinity of the 2 homes that share INABIF's property. I think it was somewhat of a Jericho march. 2 weeks after the team left, a new director came and things began to change. Walls came down, and have continued to come down. We've been given great favor in the eyes of the INABIF headquarters that have over 60 homes and yet know us. The director has such confidence and trust in us, that though they never have sent INABIF kids with an outside organization. 2 caregivers and a nurse who've seen the work of Capernaum and were won over during the summer team volunteered to come on their day off, without pay! Daniel, the sports/therapy guy came too and was what convinced Ida to let us go... he and I were pushing for the whole week but we're convinced next year!

We've been talking to Leonardo about camp for almost 2 years, and he could not have been more proud to walk out to the bus... without even a walker. His dreams when we met him were to walk and to come to a camp. He did both today! He also is understanding more and more what it is to belong to Jesus since he now longer belongs to the family he once worked to help support.

Zully plays a hot/cold, love you hate you game with us. I think she is protecting her heart because she's been hurt. Today was pure joy for her. Watching her run on a huge open green field and throw herself down laughing, catch the football with her good arm and shove into her crippled arm, pump and swing high in the air, grab a SUPER water gun and SOAK 5 people at once then fall down laughing again.

Maria just staued with Rocio her leader, laughing and hugging her all day... and falling in love with every guy who pushed her chair of course!

Jean Pierre.... oh, man. He hammed it up all over camp, when the campers came back to the camp he welcomed them all with high 5s and hugs, was at the center of the water war, ate for 5 people, and sat on my lap all the way there. Somehow Jean Pierre also got at least 4 bottles of soda from campers by charming them....

Romaín is becoming one of my favorites... his sweet disposition and willingness to cooperate, his awkaward movements when he dances, his tenderness with his peers, I simply love him. I teared up saying goodnight to him, wishing I could take him home as mine!

Joel, infamous for his "SHHIIIIIIII" was obsessed with the sound system. We coated him with sunscreen at least 3 times at kept bringing him liquids because he wanted to watch, feel, listen to, and touch the big speakers. Finally, he was near fainting and I coaxed him away with my ipod touch, he promptly fell asleep next to me and I followed. "Musica, musica, me gusta esto" were the clearest words I heard from him today!

Raul came, with his MP3 player and as usual, withdrawn and cool... But, today he got to be like anyone else today, no pushing carts or working hard.... and he played!

Carlos had a blast, blowing bubbles, playing uno, playdoh, guitar, water games, meeting people, getting all kinds of attention, watching the skit practice... But when we got him back to his room, he threw himself face down on the hard floor and cried.... and Janet and I did too.

Its so hard to see them come to life and for them to come back to the reality that nothing has changed, they still call an orphanage home. Life at INABIF, as you know, is not easy. But it gets better every day. They're taking kids in small groups- 2/week to the beach, parks, malls, just to get out! Last summer they just had them all stuffed into rooms with no AC or fans.... there is life. I walked past the therapy gym and saw that one of the therapists was taping up verses from Psalms. She said she needed God's word in her heart as she worked. There us now a "caregiver of the month" for each building and its motivating people. Changes are coming. Walls have been falling! Thank you all for being a part of it; some by coming, many by praying or sending people!

We sat with each kid on the bus ride back (we had 2 hours) to share a little more personally the gospel with each one. For Leo, it was about belonging and family. For Zully; about having a Daddy and being someone's beloved. For Carlos it was about control, he loves to turn the wheels of wheelchairs when they're laid down and pretend he is driving, so Janet used that! Each one has a different wound and need and all of those are healed and made complete in the person of Jesus. As I showered I was asking the Lord, "NOW WHAT?" They come to Capernaum, do camp, go to club, hear a little here and there... but could be moved to another orphanage, the doors could close for us... they won't go to church, how are we to make disciples of these kids? What is our follow through long-term, its not guaranteed!" The Lord seemed to respond to me, "I am their shepherd, I am their pastor, I am the one who seeks them out, I just happened to let you in on it. Just do what I tell you."

Janet and Samuel are my heroes. I watch them together and they BLOW MY MIND. They have totally fallen in love with the kids and would lay down their lives, in fact, there is one little girl that Samuel tells Janet he wants to adopt! While I was gone, Janet organized, called, prepared letters to present to the court for the permission, coordinated with Alberto and Ida... amazing. Carlos, Rocio, Walter and another Rocio came also. Walter said he decided to commit to Capernaum another year and had a blast today. My heart is exploding with gratitude as I consider all who have been a part of making this happen.... the Westgate team last year, Jericho-like prayer walking. The summer teams from Pacifica and the Capernaum month long team actually entering into the daily life of INABIF to break the walls, and the Peruvian Capernaum team that has continued, especially under Janet's leadership. God has been more than faithful. 6 hours at camp was like a year's worth of joy for these kids! I keep thinking of the song "Grandes cosas ha hecho el Señor, Grandes cosas ha hecho el Señor, celebraremos en el! Great things the Lord has done, we will celebrate in Him!

Celebrating.....

Christen

Sabbatical

2010-11-03T14:38:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends,

THANK YOU for your prayers! Many of you have been praying for Christian's visa and I am so happy to share with you that he was granted a visa to the USA and arrives here in California next Tuesday, we made the classic Lima mistake... His flight was at 12am Nov 2. That was Monday night, not Tuesday not. SO, he missed his flight. Kicking myself in the pants, 1 week later and $300 in penalties I will see him, Lord willing!! We are so looking forward to just being together... and I can hardly wait to show him my life and world and community and family in this country. I want him to see everything from where I grew up and went to school to my favorite solitude spots and Young Life kids and mentors, pastors.... There is so much to see. We are looking forward to making this time focused though on some key relationships with family, and pastors as well as some chances for him to see Young Life here in the USA and learn! We will get to be together for his birthday, our 2 year anniversary, Thanksgiving, and Christmas! We will both return to Peru for the new year.

Sabbatical... you may be wondering as many are...

Q- Is something wrong, why did you take a sabbatical?

A- No! Young Life gives a gift to their staff of a 3 month sabbatical after 7 years of full time service, domestically or internationally. Its been almost 8 years since I came on staff in Fresno, and the timing was right!

Q- So is it just a long vacation?

A- No! Young Life requires you to have a plan that must be approved by a supervisor. This is a time to reflect, rest, retreat, invest in persona relationships and recharge for another 5 years or longer.

Q- So what are you doing, Christen?

A- I am resting. I am enjoying not needing to be chained to a computer so many hours/day and not having to lead everywhere I go. I am delighting in my nieces and nephew whose lives I have missed the most. Spending time with family and close friends, catching up and looking to serve them here and there. Its amazing how much you miss when you live overseas, so a sabbatical for international staff is vital! I am also working on another class toward my master's degree through Fuller and spend a lot of time reading, listening to lectures, studying and writing. I am going to the gym (American gyms are soooo fun!). I am going to counseling at a center that specializes in helping missionaries decompress and sort through what they have experienced. I am slipping into church quietly and just receiving and feeling the Lord revive my soul.

Q- How has life in Peru been?

A- HARD. I am finally beginning to be able to really process and feel the last 2 and a half years, something I must do to go on. I have come here at a good time, after an incredibly heavy season of minsitry, seeing a lot of pain and suffering, death, and hardship in people's lives.

Q- Where in the world are you?

A- Good question. It changes moment by moment and I never know where I'll be, seriously! I think I have stayed in 14 beds and usually not the same one for more than 3 nights in a row. I come and go to different places and am bouncing between Fresno, Oakhurst/Mountain area and Lodi, though I will soon be heading to new adventures as well. Fresno really has become my home base!

Q- Are there rules?

A- My supervisor is a Godly man and he told me to simply "be as kind to Christen as Jesus is." That means lots of grace. I also have made a commitment not to speak, fundraise, or visit donors and churches during this time. I hope to be able to do that when I am back briefly in February for a class, but now the purpose is pretty defined.

So that is me.... and soon will be us when Christian is with me crashing at people's houses at taking the guest bed at my brother's house so I get to have sleepovers with my nieces.

I hope to be introducing many of you to Christian soon as some people will host open houses and gatherings over the next 2 months!

THANK YOU for your prayers, love, and support!

Christen

Making Music

2010-05-17T14:05:00.001-05:00

Wish I had a picture of one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen...

One of our Capernaum kids from the government run orphanage, INABIF had a brain injury 3 years ago. He was a healthy, teenage kid who left his family in the Sierras to look for work in Arequipa. While working filling tires along side the road, a tire exploded in his face causing a severe brain bleed and about a year of comas. Slowly he has been waking up to his reality and remembering who he was and frustrated with what he has become.

Leonardo does not speak, he is learning slowly to walk with gait training and a therapist. He has just finally become able to eat solid foods with much care, but this kid is smart! He knows anything you might need to know about the house and if you can ask with Yes and No, simple choice answers, he will let you know!

When we walked in Saturday morning, I saw that was dying to get his hand on the guitar we brought. Once settling a few things in, I saw his eyes were glued to me and the guitar. With his eye brows he was shouting to me across the room "Don't forget me, the guitar....PLEASE!"

Finally I made my way over, I placed it in his arms... one hand and arm still unable to move and with the other slung over the side, he began to sloppily attempt to strum. I was satisfied and so was he, I moved on to the next kid. Within a minute, I watched something profound happen. Luis Eduardo is an old YL leader who has never been around kids with disabilities and felt like he needed to take on this incredible challenge. It was his 2nd week and he is working hard to overcome his discomfort... as one friend used to say, he is "embracing the awkwardness."

Luis Eduardo came up behind him, wrapped his arms around Leonardo's and used Leo's hands to play beautifully! The tears came as I watched and thought about how God does that with my broken and pathetic attempts to serve Him... he comes around me, takes this life of mine that is sometimes paralyzed or useless and HE uses me and HE makes beautiful music and lets me feel like I am a part! What a beautiful picture I got to see. I was dying to snap a photo at least with the phone, but its against the rules... so just imagine it... and imagine the PURE JOY on Leonardo's face! I want to experience that same JOY when God begins to make music with my life!

Maranatha!

2010-05-12T08:23:00.002-05:00

Not too long ago I began to pray asking the Lord for more of a longing for Heaven, a sense of my eternal home and not to be too caught up here on earth.

Not long after praying this way, I began to get together with a Swiss friend, a wonderful woman who moved here to Peru to become mom to abandoned infants and raise them for life. You may have heard me speak of Doris recently and her Refuge. Doris looks at the horror of where they have come from, its effects, the suffering and pain of peoples' lives day in and day out. There is no isolation from it. She and these kids have become my extended family and I am an aunt to 11 beautiful Swiss-German speaking Peruvian kids. Its been a journey that has taken me even deeper into the pain of this world. Perhaps I am used to it and can compartmentalize it with the Capernaum kids (at least I have had to in order to move forward). However, Doris' love and longing for heaven has been contagious... and God is faithful to answer a prayer like this.

More and more I find myself disillusioned with a broken world that has little to offer to anyone and LONGING for heaven, our real home. Its becoming a part of my every moment, my constant longing. I feel myself pulled deeper into this solidarity with suffering people; so much so that their suffering also invades most of my moments. I carry it with me...I was talking with Christian the other day, he sees it though does not totally understand it... I was explaining to him how I have asked myself "is it depression? Is it a grey Lima winter" is it homesickness? is it being unhappy?" All of these things could be causes, but I know it is deeper. There are days when my clean, pretty, neat, orderly, close-to-family home back in Clovis calls my name like the serpent called Eve to the apple. I want "THAT" I think. THAT will lighten my load, make life pretty and happy and easy. However, I know having all of "THAT" would no longer satisfy. In fact, nothing on this earth but Christ himself will satisfy me.

I keep thinking of that verse "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Phil 3:10-11. I can hear Joni Eareckson Tada speaking with such passion years ago at some conference or meeting. At the time, I could hardly wrap my mind around it, but now, my heart resounds with those words! Its a new place, a new way... at least at a new level. It is something I feel Henri Nouwen and perhaps a few other writers have mentored me in. It is a sacred and terrible place, the fellowship of sharing in his suffering…

AND YET, in the midst of this, I think Christian, my boyfriend (almost 18 months now) is this gift that somehow pulls me out and above that for moments of ridiculous laughter, play, joy, fun, sarcasm... and it is a gift. It is all a gift... and a burden, and a privilege. I feel, as the author of Romans says that "the whole earth groans" and find myself more and more longing for the day when " creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God." (Romans 8:21).

Com quickly, Lord Jesus! Maranatha!

New Home, New Teams.... Update April 2010

2010-04-26T14:05:00.001-05:00

Its been entirely too long since I have communicated with you all who are my friends, pray-ers, donors and family. You may laugh at me, this truly is a symptom of my generation... in all my communication from facebook, to blog, to texting to calls, it somehow slipped my mind. I feel very "connected" I guess you could say. So, here is a brief update since February:

- I spent the month of February living in my friend Doris' refuge while the owner of my apartment was back in Peru visiting family. In the meantime, the Lord spoke to me about safety, space, rest... and I found an apartment in a MUCH calmer part of town. Its cost is double but the safety and peace, ability to walk almost everywhere without being so concerned about robbery, kidnapping or worse and be close to friends from church, staff, and the refuge has been a gift. I moved in and settled and seem to be having meetings, dinners, & lunches at least 4-5 times a week. Its a wonderful place for rest... and I have 2 extra rooms already booked full with missionaries, visitors, and team through August. W college student I know from Arizona will probably live with me during her 3 month exchange Sept-December.

** See, I have space for you to come visit and bunk beds!!

- Our Capernaum team in the Dominican Republic is beginning all over again. New team. New area of the city. Clearer vision more closely tied to the vision of Young Life with its emphasis on TEENS (it had become mostly adults and truly life changing for them, just not Young Life). The old team continues to work with the old kids. I am preparing to visit at the end of May and welcome a bilingual volunteer leader from California for a month. I will be back in August for a national director conference and will get to have follow up time to our training. Praise God for 7 new leaders in training in Santiago!

-Many have asked of we were affected by the earthquake here in Peru. Thankfully, we were not at all as an earthquake of the magnitude here in Peru would shut us down. Our government is not as well prepared as Chile! However, the earthquake has affected Capernaum and Young Life in Chile. Our area director in Santiago, Chile wrote to me and informed me that they would have to set aside Capernaum for at least a year to respond to the needs created by the earthquake. Though saddened, I trust he knows and God's time will be right to begin again.

-In Peru, the Capernaum team has dwindled. Those who study here, tend to be in classes at least 20-30 hours/week. On top of that there is always work to survive. Full time work is about 60-70 hours/week typically. This makes it nearly impossible for one to volunteer. SO, we have made some changes, have a new plan, new schedule, and last night had an interest meeting. Changing our emphasis to the government-run pr[hanage on Saturday mornings has opened up the possibility of serving to MANY! 22 people came last night. I am praying for 12 leaders to join our current team of 3. Our Capernaum (volunteer) director cannot continue in his role due to work, so I am taking this on until the Lord provides someone else to lead. Please pray for Janet whom I think could be our lady! Please pray for those who came last night and are considering their role!

-Its been an odd season of life and death. My dear friend Monica gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and on the same day, a sweet leader, friend, and sister in Christ from our Peru team lost her battle with leukemia. Leaves some hard questions and a wrestling with God.

-Personally, its a hard time of year. We are enjoying the last (half or quarter) days of sun. The clouds roll in like a dark heavy blanket and linger and weigh on us for about 7 -8 months. I struggle with motivation, energy, and even depression in these months and find myself needing the Lord more than ever. To prepare myself, I am walking daily with a friend, taking any "get-aways" possible outside of Lima for glimpses of sun, and grateful for Christian's presence with me in this as he encourages me, prays for me, and really is my best friend. Please do pray that the Lord would carry me through this and I would be able to continue to serve with joy!

*Heavy fog rolling in... soon the blue skies will be gone and just the fog remains.

-Raquel... I do still get to see Raquel from time to time and its a gift. She is doing really well and my relationship with dad and the girls is good. She was here last weekend and while she was still asleep I was reading and came in to find she had invited my dog right up into bed with her and proudly announced the spanish version of "Deza goes night night with me in your spot, Mommy!" I had to laugh and snap a picture.

Thank you for your prayers, concern, and friendship. I always say this, but I really, really mean it... I want to know about your life. a friend pointed out to me that she at times feels intimidated to write to a "missionary" about her "boring" life. BUT, first its not boring and second, I want to stay connected to you all. Sharing your lives is a vital way to feel connected to "home."

Christen

Huacachina and Ica Peru

2010-03-22T21:41:00.001-05:00

A few pictures from the short trip I took with my Swiss friend Dina last week. We went to Ica, south of Lima about 5 hours to the sand dunes and an oasis in a dessert as well as the "galapagos" of Peru. Dina had some time off from the Refuge and I needed a break. The picture of the sand dunes has not been altered at all, it is absolutely amazing. I LOVED the buggy that zipped up and down dunes like a roller coaster without a track, it was amazing and quite a thrill. Sand boarding was pretty wild too, flying 25 MPH down a mountain head first on your belly is a good way to forget about day to day worries. If you come to visit me, I can hook you up with a trip! When you get outside of Lima, it is a beautiful country!!

I am learning....

2010-02-23T23:36:00.000-05:00

I am learning. I have great teachers; some are experience, mistakes, time, burnout and joy. Some are Scott, Doris, and small, Swiss-German speaking Peruvian orphans. I moved last week since the owner of my little apartment came "home" to Peru from the USA and comes for a month each year to visit his brother. I had to take everything out and pack it to be stored in Christian's house which is under construction. This was on the tails of being very ill, a week of summer camp, running a short-term team, and dealing with a death in our ministry. I leaned this is too much from my teacher (called burnout).

I moved into my friend's refuge, a home for children in a further south part of Lima. I awake usually to the sound of children giggling and chatting in Swiss-German and poking fingers through my unscreened window. I lay there between asleep and awake and I like to suddenly tear open the curtain and yell "guten morgen" just to hear the screams and giggles as they run away. I am learning from these teachers called joy and children.

Its been almost 2 years since I moved here and during that time I have been living in the north, near the airport, near the majority of Young Life's ministry with kids as well as leaders' barrios. I have enjoyed being near them and braved the barrios that many taxi drivers won't enter to be with these people and have had plenty of experiences and close calls, probably more than I am aware of. The teachers of time and experience have kept me alive but have also warned me that I cannot keep this up forever.

A friend wrote to me the other day something that rung so true and I need to recognize, it was as though God was speaking to me and using Scott to teach me.... "the jump from where you come from to where you are is beyond calculation, and it can get tricky maybe thinking that to really be there you have to immerse yourself in the hardest of circumstances. After awhile though, you have to realize that you are not Superwoman, not indestructible, and that you do know yourself, and what you need to refresh and revitalize yourself from all the pouring out. I think a peaceful place to live is not asking too much."

Then today on a run to the government orphanage for kids with disabilities I was chatting with my dear friend Doris. She was telling me about another young Swiss couple living in the house right now that spent 6 months as newlyweds living in a very, very poor barrio and serving. She hit the bottom of the pit and is now on depression medications and barely able to handle day-to-day living that consists of simple gardening and rest. She is here recovering but deeply broken. Doris said, "Christen we are from a different reality and the gap will catch you up and will eat you up. You need to live in a tranquil place with green."

So, I am learning. I am learning the burnout and experice, time and children, Doris and Scott, joy and sorrow are all from God's hand to point me to Himself above all else. But they also seem to be pointing me toward a more long-term sustainable lifestyle. Since arriving here at the refuge, I feel more rested and refreshed than in weeks. I had no idea the weight I have been carrying around just in safety concerns that should never become normal. The constant looking over my shoulder, clutching my belongings and stuffing them in my clothes, the fear when I see more than 2 teenagers coming towards me... it seems to be melting away here. YES, of course something could happen here... but the likelihood is less, the police are present, and it’s a different world.

So, my response to my Teacher and his teaching assistants is this, "Lord, I am NOT superwoman, am not indestructible. I need a home that is safe for others and me and in an area where I can breathe easier and enjoy moments more. I give up my superwoman complex of having to live in the hard places. I am weak; I need some comfort, green spaces, cleaner air and less crime. PLEASE, would you PLEASE provide a home close to here in Magdalena?"

So friends, please pray with me for a house that could be a home to me and the many people who visit for hours, days and weeks! And feel free to chime in with your wisdom as one of the teachers I am blessed by!

Angela is HOME and FREE

2010-02-11T14:05:00.002-05:00

Dear Friends who have prayed with us.....

Just wanted to let you know that we just heard from the orphanage. Little Angela who had gotten the H1N1 virus and was in the hospital went to be with Jesus early this morning. Her suffering has ended and she is finally whole. Angela had osteogenesis imperfecta and her little body just could not fight anymore. I smile when I remember her big eyes and tiny arms and legs, her little finger motioing for us to "come here." For those of you who know Mai and Abby from Fresno's Capernaum minsitry, she looked like their sister!

Angela's mom has appeared and feels guilty and horrible as the disease is genetic and mom had a more mild form. The staff at the orphanage continue to be in quarantine and will not be able to attend the mass they are holding for her. They were her family, so we will go in their place and grieve for them and for her... every child deserves to be grieved for and missed...

Walking a team through the death of a kid for the first time is no easy task... not that it is easier after its happened several times, but we learn to understand death sometimes as God's mercy rather than seeing only our loss. So, I will be with the team these next few days as they learn to grieve with hope!

Thanks for praying, I think our prayers were answered... perhaps not as we had hoped, but her ultimate healing has come!

In Him,

Christen

Quarantine or Leprosy Colony?

2010-01-27T20:33:00.000-05:00

PLEASE pray.... the orphanage where we work with kids with disabilities has been put on quarantine because a little one had swine flu (she is now in ICU fighting for her life and Angela will likely to be in Jesus' arms soon). They have an order for 21 days of NO ONE leaves or COMES IN! This means that the staff (with janitors, cooks, caregivers and all) also cannot go home and are working 24 hours/day for 21 days. No back up has been sent. I cannot imagine. The kids cannot stand being locked up and more than staff can.

I spoke with the director today to ask what they need. Although the government is their boss and has insisted on the TOTAL quarantine they have gotten no supplies or back up help. He said they have rationed everyone's food down to half the normal (which was not much) and now staff are taking turns skipping meals!

The team from Westgate church in San Jose, CA was going to be working there on Saturday. Instead, we will be delivering some basics in bulk such as rice, sugar, oil, eggs and milk on Saturday to the gate but will also write cards and bring flowers and a "to-go" lunch for the staff. I have asked him to set up a room inside and have them take shifts of a break and a rest.

I so wish we could come in and be relief.... but orders from minsitry of health will not even allow entrance with gowns and masks. Please pray for these women (and a few men). They are in crisis, totally tired, fighting illness and caring for the most severely disabled kids in Peru 24 hours/day!

I am excited we can go and be Jesus hands and feet and imagine they feel somewhat like lepers... but I know a TOUCH, just a TOUCH from the Lord Jesus, encouragment to their hearts could give them grace for today!

I am looking into what can be done, but I was informed by a friend who serves on the United Nations disability council that emails and letters to US foreign aid officers in Lima and also to Mental DIsability Rights International might call some attention and move people to action...

http://www.mdri.org/mdri-contact-us.html

Above all, let's pray God's spirit falls on them and brings refreshment as he can MOVE NOW and laws take time!

Please also pray for me. I have a food poisoning/water contamination illness and have been out on my back for 24 hours. Its a busy week with much to do and I am completely incapacitated!

Lonliness of the Soul in the Orphanages

2010-01-21T18:42:00.002-05:00

I wish I had a few pictures of these precious ones to share with you, but by court order we cannot take cameras into these orphanages.

My team has been spending time along with anyone else who wants to join us from the other YL leadership teams in the orphanage where about 40% of the kids at a particular school come from. Its summer vacation, so there is no school and that means that 5 women are in charge of 59 kids for 12 hours a day. Recently, the group of 23 adolescent boys with mild disabilities were moved out of this home to a cheaper and further place (without a close by school and so no longer going to school) to save the lovely Peruvian government some soles (Peruvian money). So now its 59 kids, mostly little ones.

Most of them under the age of 10. Tiny red wheelchairs EVERYWHERE. After I get our team settled, introduced (though they are getting pretty comfortable) I have been wandering the back bedrooms... and I wish I could take you there. You would never be the same though. Maybe that is best, the pain is so deep I have had a hard time sleeping this week. The spiritual battle is fierce.

I think I have always wanted to believe that maybe our enemy, on some level, had some compassion or courtesy and would mess with "us" who have some level of intelligence as a layer he must fight past.... but no, no courtesy, no mercy. His torment of those whose minds and bodies are weak is horrific. I found one little girl throwing her head back toward a window desperately trying to hit her head while sitting in her wheelchair, biting her arms until she bled and screaming. I was told this was her "normal" behavior. I could not calm her down, but as I began to pray in the spirit and take authority over any tormenting spirit and apply the blood of Jesus to Maria Elizabeth's life, she calmed down. I lifted her little 20-pound body (at age 5) into my arms and sang worship and prayed over her. I told her that her life mattered and she was not a mistake. I had this sense that language did not matter as it was her spirit and not her intelligence or lack of that needed ministry. She fell asleep in my arms.

Why? What does "being" or a life that "matters" mean to little Maria Elizabeth? On some level I feel like I understand her... I would be thrashing and trying to hurt myself or kill myself if I was just left in a back room alone like this, unable to express my pain...and with the enemy's torment!!?? Its not as simple as being left in a back room, having them forget to feed her, I have this sense that though she may not understand many things, she know she has been forgotten and left... almost left for dead.

I went on to find Lorena. 4 years old. Another one with cerebral palsy, but she has been in bed without getting out for 3 weeks. She cannot sit in her wheelchair because somehow her foot was severely burned by some boiling water in a staff person’s hands and in her chair, her movements or other kids (they are always bumping, crashing each others' chairs) could slough off the newly forming scab. I was sent to give her a bottle. She did not want the bottle and SCREAMED and cried... I would too. It was some nasty orange/yellow liquid that smelled disgusting.

Finally, I lifted her out, cradled her in my arms and she began to calm down. I lifted her head to rest on my shoulder so she could look around the room, but she fainted. My goodness... she has not only been in bed, but has not been UPRIGHT AT ALL for 3 weeks. No wonder why she fainted. I began to pray over this precious one too and just broke and wept. Thankfully no one else was there to see me make a fool of myself crying.

I just kept saying to the Lord, "there has to be more than this." This is not what God intended. Its not just "I'm-alone-in-here-loneliness," its deep soul loneliness. Its total abandonment. Its torment to the human soul.

I walked, sang, and prayed over Lorena for a good 40 minutes. I walked her outside and around the entire compound, just to give her some sunshine and a view of the sky and some new sounds. She nestled into my chest and she fell asleep. I probably wasn't "supposed" to take her out of bed, but the sweet women who are so overwhelmed would see me walk past and flash a smile of relief.... I know they wish they had the time or hands to do this too!

Today I was dreading going... I am so tired when I am done, covered in all kinds of bodily fluids, its hot and no air or fans in there. But more than that, it is a deep, heavy, battle. We got a call though that one little one has possible swine flu and no one is coming in or out. I found myself wondering who and praying that God in His mercy might take one of these precious ones who lives in such isolation and abandonment home into his presence if its a relief from this existence. That is it. Some of these kids are happy and healthy and they are BEING. BUT, some of them are merely EXISTING and its empty, hollow, lonely, and painful! I know they were made for more... but a broken world, broken and absent parents for a variety of reasons, and a broken government that can only place 1 caregiver for 16 kids means a horrible existence.

I am not going to lie, this messes with my theology of the beauty of just being when not able to do anything. It messes with my understanding of God's justice and mercy... It messes with all I know and yet I know and trust in a BIG God who can handle and somehow has space in His heart for the pain of the whole world....

Please pray for my team and I, especially as I go to the back rooms. That’s where I am called... I don't want to ask any of the team to join me yet as they are not ready for it, but I need a covering and prayer as I go!

Blessings, friends!

Perspectives from a Bus Ride in Peru

2010-01-09T01:32:00.001-05:00

A few nights ago I was on the lovely, overcrowded and often dangerous public bus line with Carlitos, who now serves as the Capernaum club director and as an almost full time volunteer. I also had a friends' niece with me. Now, I rarely ride buses these days since I bought a car, but since I was 2 days overdue on my technical revision, the risk of a s/500 fine was enough to put me back on the bus!

As we rode along, Carlos and I were talking about the growth we had seen in Lucho's life (one of our favorite Capernaum kids who has ataxic CP and despite a gait that makes you think he will fall at any moment and difficuly speech, he is funny, witty, intelligent and just like anyone else) and how to help work crew be a successful experience for him next month at our outreach camp. All of a sudden a young man get on the bus to beg... but this young man was a spitting image of Lucho and his disability was almost identical except that his speech was extremely unintelligible. He stood at the front of the bus and "sang" for us all. It was a painful thing to watch and listen to as his eyes seemed to be crying out with desperation, looking for someone to LISTEN to him. People tend to look the other way, not knowing what to do with the pain and shame, somewhere between denial and pity when anyone gets on to "ask" for money by singing, playing an instrument or outright begging, but the discomfort was taken up several notches. There was tension in the air.

The little girl who was with me, Gloria seemed to tense up. I pulled her closer and began explaining as I often do to kids "He has something called cerebral palsy and when he was in his mommy's tummy he did not get all of the air called oxygen he needed, so he talks and walks a little bit different from you and me, but I sure would like to be his friend, wouldn't you?" Gloria looked up through tears and said something I will not forget.... something that reveals so much of the cultural attitude toward people with disabilities

"He is not a crazy man who kills people? " She went on, "That's what my mommy says about people like that and I am scared."

Instead of show my disappointment and sadness even anger, I began telling her about Lucho and others who are my close friends, about my own bowt with meningitis as an infant that could have left me like that. I was healed, they were not. I asked if she had ever been sick or hurt, if that made her crazy. The conclusion she settled on was that he was really different and only a little scary, but not a killer.

The young man made his way down the bus opening his crippled hand for donations. Many put a few cents in his hand but couldn't muster eye contact or even an acknowledgment of him. When he came to us, he must have read our hearts in our eyes. He stopped and began talking, pointing wildly and motioning things. He took off an ID he had pinned to his chest and showed us his name. Herbert is 17. The rest we can only speculate. We told him we have friends who have disabilities like his and his eyes almost popped out of his head with excitement. The bus was packed and people stared as we listened... as Carlos so intently listened and looked deep into this kids' eyes. We didn't understand, but we listened for at least 10 minutes... that is a LONG time when you do not even know a word spoke. Herbert finally arrived at the stop where I assume he would switch to another bus to see if he could get a few cents from "singing" and as he did he reached down for a handshake. Instead, I stood to give him the traditional kiss on the cheek. He reached for Gloria's hand, and though shaking a little she offered him her hand. As he got off, people looked uncomfortably at us, but curious. Carlos and I were silent, heavy hearted. How do we reach more Herberts, how do we see more Lucho's find purpose? Maybe doing just what we did... listening and sharing with those on the bus and with 5 year old little girls; dispelling lies about people with disabilities. As we walked to our friends' apartment Gloria announced

"I am going to tell my mom she is wrong and people like them don't kill. He just wanted us to be his friends and we are."

One at a time. Convince one person at a time to view our friends with disabilities for the beautiful creation that they are... its all I know to do! Maybe Gloria will be Peru's next Capernaum director... or a special education teacher... who know what God will do with a changed perspective!!

Christen

Thanks, Goodbyes, Year End Giving and Hugs!

2009-12-28T23:25:00.005-05:00

Once again I am heading back to Peru and saying goodbye to family and friends. Its been a FULL, sweet 3 weeks. I spoke 14 times about the minsitry, slept in 10 different beds, drove over 1,500 miles and saw tons of people who I love and treasure, who support, pray for and encourage me. You could say I had some time with my team... the team who sends me. I wish I could have seen you all, there just were not enough hours in the days for more coffee breaks and walks and talks.... not to mention the fact that I didn't get out of California this trip! I am a RICH woman, rich in relationships, in heritage and legacy and so so grateful. So, I leave feeling rich and full (and a little tired and worn out). Thank you to those of you who made time for lunch, a walk, coffee, a meeting or church service where I shared, a phone call, or a hug!

Thank you to those of you who gave to the campership campaign... we have 12 scholarships! I was hoping to get more like 50 to divide between the 4 countries, so if you are still interested, its not too late... and can actually be done all year long as they go to camp throughout the year!

I also wanted to remind you that if you are interested in making a year end gift, it can be done online and still make it in time! I rarely share about my personal fundraising, but its good to share and ask once in a while.... my wise friend has taught me that "God loves a cheerful giver... and a cheerful asker!" I know this has been a tough year for so many and lay offs, closing companies and high unemployment are affecting us all! I am praying for many of you who are in that place. I have also lost about $700/month in donations over the last 6 months which makes for some big challenges with the coming year. Our ministry is growing and expanding, the demand for more travel, more training, more resources for more countries is very present, and yet giving is down.

If you are economically able, would consider

1. giving a monthly gift of $25, $50. $100 or $150?

2. A one-time, year end gift ?

3. Increasing your monthly giving to grow with us?

To give using a credit card or a bank account, use Young Life Giving Website or the link below.

Your gifts and partnership help us equip more national leaders in various countries to reach more teens with disabilities! We are praying and dreaming with national leaders for a Capernaum Outreach to begin in Paraguay, Colombia, and Nicaragua in the next 36 months!

Regardless of your ability to give, please pray with me for God's provision, for even more partners, and for the leaders in each country as they seek to raise teams and funds to make their minsitry sustainable!

I love and appreciate you all! Blessings, thanks, & Happy New Year!

Christen

https://giving.younglife.org/OnlineGivingChoice.aspx?GiftType=area&MissionUnitCode=X396&MissionUnitName=Lat%20Amer%20Capernaum%20-%20Morrow

Christmas Gift!

2009-12-05T09:42:00.003-05:00

People with disabilities around the world live forgotten, hidden away. Volunteer Young Life Capernaum leaders in the Dominican Republic, Peru, Costa Rica and Chile are weekly spending time building relationships, learning their caregiving needs, & sharing loving these kids.

Summer camps are the opportunity of a lifetime for teenagers with severe disabilities in a developing country to experience life as a typical teenager alongside of able bodied peers. For most students, the cost is simply out of reach for their families but would be a chance to see a sunset, a beach, play a game, spend the night outside of the 4 walls of their home or barrio for the first time in their lives! The best part of all is that they will hear the story of Jesus love!

For that person you love who you don’t know what yo get... how about giving the gift of a week at camp in their name? Your loved one will become a part of something larger than life, something eternal in making a difference. The gift you wrap or hand to your loved one will be a beautiful card with faces of kids who we hope to send to camp, describing the gift given in their name sent to you or them, you choose!

AND you will receive a tax deductible receipt and a picture and brief follow up after camp about the teen you sent to camp that you can share with the your loved one!

How to Give the Gift:

Give online with credit card or bank account: https://giving.younglife.org/OnlineGivingChoice.aspx Give to “Young Life Area Ministry,” search under area number for area X396 (the most important part) Select CAMPERSHIP.
Send a check made out to Young Life to YL Income Processing PO Box 520 Colorado Springs CO 80901 WRITE “X396 CAMPERSHIP” ON MEMO LINE!

Email Christen the name this gift is being given in and either your address or their address for where you want us to send the card...

2009-11-06T10:57:00.009-05:00

Its been too long since I have written, there really is so much to catch up on. BUT I wanted to share one of the humbling things I am learning still….

“Poverty is dressed up pretty in the brick and mortar here, maybe not as ugly as the shanty towns out there.”

One of my good friends and a leader for Capernaum in Lima made this comment to me. Poverty does not strike me the same way it used to. When I pull into a neighborhood in the hills on the outskirts of Lima, it does not have the same effect it once did. I am comfortable there. It seems normal to me to have the huge hose pulled from house to house to fill trash cans with water for daily use, to see kids sitting and playing on a sand floor, to be offered a brick to sit on instead of a chair. I am aware that the little electricity they have is shared between neighbors and whoever has a TV has all the neighbors over. The soup kitchens called “comedors” where kids bring their own plate, are served a meal and head home seem as common as the lunch room when I was in school. Perhaps its horrible that I am so comfortable with this, perhaps its good. All I know is that this is the reality of many people whom I deeply love and respect. It is their life and knowing them and meeting them there is an honor…..

Now, I live in the north of Lima, in Callao on the border of San Martín de Porres. I will admit its not the fancy part, often one will go through 5 taxis before they find one willing to come out here past 8pm. BUT, the little neighborhood where I live I love! Its “gated” (you all would laugh if you saw my “gated community”) and a little safer inside that a couple of blocks away. Where I lived for the first year, about 12 blocks from here is not quite as safe, but feels like home to me too. Everyone has real houses with cement and brick… From the outside, most are painted some color. All have electricity at least for a light bulb, some have phones and even internet. But, my friend was explaining something to me that is hard to comprehend… those are masks. The houses are masks. Over the years families have put everything they have into building a home for the next generation and continue building up story by story for the generations to each have a “home.” So a house looks like stability, but its not. All too often many of these people, and many of my friends do not even have 1 sol (about $0.35) to buy bread for their family or take the bus across town to work. I think I forget this.

Our Capernaum team for the most part comes from these homes, this community, and this humility. I would not have it any other way as these people are my close friends, my family here in Peru and incredible servants with talents and gifts that blow my mind. However, poverty is dressed up well in their lives and the mask only comes down once in a while… sometimes leaving me with my foot in my mouth and embarrassed. We joined a large group of our students at a zoo outside of Lima for the day a couple of weeks ago to be extra hands and help for the school and to have some good time getting to know kids and parents. The cost of entrance to the zoo was a special price 5 soles… about $1.78. Think the Monterey Aquarium in prestige. Nice place. Super cheap. So, I asked the team to each cover the entrance and if they each put in 5 soles for gas for the van and we would be covered. I made lunch and brought for my team.

Little did I know that the 5 soles for park entrance was no small thing. I am still learning how families work here. If a young person works and lives at home, his/her salary goes to the family. They can ask for money when they need it to buy food (not like a coke or starbucks, more like a piece of bread) or for their bus fare to and from school. Ministry and volunteering is not seen well by parents who just want to see their kids get ahead.. its seen as a waste of time and resources, as a thing from their teen years to be let go. So, the fact that the team had gotten together 5 soles for a purely “fun” event as seen by parents was no small thing.

But here comes the gringa… asking for their 5 soles to cover part of the gas. I have been encouraged by board members and friends here to be sure to charge people their part. “DO NOT let them get accustomed to you paying for everything” I hear constantly. Don’t let them take advantage of you comes the warning. The van is a whole ordeal as I have been warned to make ministry pay their 1 sol/kilometer. So, I did as I was asked and later my friend explained to me how harsh my request was. His family was all out of money. Nothing to eat that day. 5 soles could feed them at least bread and milk for a day. Another leader was in a very similar situation as she looks for work to maintain her aging grandparents and schizophrenic mother. I am left feeling like an idiot and wondering once again how to balance this, how to make them responsible, teach interdependence and not dependence but also to be merciful and care for my friends, help with the resources entrusted to me.

I am not done learning about this culture… what I lack in knowledge seems greater each day. I am grateful for gracious friends and teachers, but, man, this can be hard!

It leaves me wanting to see…. what is it that is hidden behind the brick and mortar of other homes, behind careers and success in other, behind smiles and laughter in others, what is hidden in me... It leaves me longing for heaven where we will all be what we were made to be and where the pain and need will be gone as we are sustained and satisfied by our Heavenly Father!

So, I am reminded "blessed are the poor in spirit, for the Kingdom of heaven belongs to them." And I just wonder what the homes of these will look like in heaven for my friends who have struggles through homes like these...

Capernaum... Need I Say More??

2009-09-27T08:17:00.002-05:00

2009-09-07T11:03:00.009-05:00

There is so much to tell of life’s happenings over the last several weeks

I finished classes in Pasadena & came home to cold, cloudy, dark Lima with people I love waiting for me at the airport!

Camp was canceled because of government alerts for swine flu… but the 2 people coming for work crew came anyway, so Christian and I hung out with Jason and Nicole, showing them ministry and just sharing life. A hidden blessing & time for ministering to this sweet Arizona couple!

My friend Alex arrived… here for 6 weeks from Fresno Alex works with orphanage redevelopment and organization, has a master’s degree in Child Development and Applied Psychology and has begun with my Swiss friend’s refuges here in Lima. Alex has spent time at a few & now we’re putting on a workshop/retreat for staff this week. The idea is to give them more tools & encourage their hearts. Alex’s presence has been life-giving, encouraging, and we work really well together!

I spent 2 weeks in the Dominican Republic where leaders from 15 countries came together for an intensive training for Area and National Directors. I got to serve, translate, teach, build relationships & check in with our Dominican Capernaum team. Lots of work, wonderful new relationships, sweet times with old friends, and much to follow up on!

A few days after arriving home from the DR, I picked up a friend named Jamie from the airport… she looks like she could be my sister… and she is… in Christ. Jamie is a Capernaum intern in Washington state and came last summer to serve. She came back to learn, relate, and be with Peruvian friends with the same heart.

The day after Jamie arrived, Alex and Jamie and I crowded into my guest room bunk beds while Ashley Maddox, a videographer from Young Life came to film for a Latin America video they are preparing. He has incredible talent, a great personality, & was a lot of fun to be with. Check out his blog… http://wampictures.blogspot.com/

Ashley leaves tonight, Jamie on Wednesday, then Jose, another friend flies in for a week. Christian will be leaving to translate with the medical mission team we work with and life is supposed to settle down a little. I find myself spending time with leaders, our national director, Alberto, and checking in with new countries interested in Capernaum. I have some meetings with business people in the community wanting to know more about Capernaum this next week and am preparing for a conference Peru is hosting in October for fundraising with Young Life staff coming from 5 other countries.

In the meantime, I am falling more in love. Christian and I travel a lot separately so time together is sweet and something we treasure. Please pray for FAVOR as he is applying for a visa to make a visit to the USA! It will be a miracle if he is granted a visitor’s visa, but something we feel is needed at this point in our relationship. We want to spend Christmas with the California Morrow clan!

Lastly… some of you will recognize Doris’ face. She was one of our Capernaun kids years back when we began. She is 17 and when her orphanage moved, she was taken out of the school where we did Capernaum. She lived with Vilma, the woman I have talked and shown pictures of here… 10 days ago Doris ran away. Vilma has done all she knows to do, but it was planned, intentional, and I don’t think Doris will be back. She is VERY high functioning and was in regular education, had tasted the world with parties and a boyfriend and wanted it all. Vilma’s home was probably not the right place for her… but the streets or falling into the hands of some sick man won’t be either. Please pray for her safety. Doris has lived with so much pain… mom threw her in a fire before committing suicide years ago… she bears the burn scars on her face and lost an arm, but her scars that are unseen are deeper!

2009-07-13T23:41:00.003-05:00

I LOVE CALIFORNIA! I am a California girl and coming back always causes me to question again “WHY DO I LIVE IN PERU?” I have been in the USA for 1 week now and had a few sweet days with family laughing, remembering, cooking, playing, walking and gazing at beauty. We stayed at a Vineyard in the Santa Inez Valley near Santa Barbara. The weather was incredible, the company awesome, we enjoyed different wines every day and played together… board games, riding ATVs through the hills, campfires at an awesome lookout point. I got to spend time with my nieces and really begin getting to know Kennedy who is now 10 months old! Pete and I stayed up late at night talking about life and laughing. My dad took a fall and was a trooper through the pain of a facial fracture (sounds cooler to say he broke his face) and stuck it out. Mom was mom…. incredible, steady, sure, serving and loving each of us so well. Because of papa’s accident we ended our vacation time early and I got a surprise 48 hours in Fresno. I LOVE Fresno. I love the unique community of people God has placed there and their love for God’s Kingdom and the world. I saw a lot of people for brief and unplanned visits and as I sit on the bus on my way to Pasadena I once again am aware of how rich I am. What precious community, fellowship, and unique expressions of the body of Christ.

As I look around at the vineyards, the grapevine and its desolateness, and head to Pasadena, I once again feel like my eyes cannot possibly drink in all the beauty I have missed, Blue skies, green, flowers, hills, mountains, and clean air are not what I see on a daily basis at home in Lima. While summer graces us with sunshine and bluish skies, the pollution and over population of Lima will never compete with the beauty of this state that was home to me for 28 years. I am so grateful for smog laws and environmental protection today.

And yet, I am still calling Lima home. Did you notice? I have, I am homesick for Lima while being delighted to be here…. While all the jokes about missing my boyfriend and leaving my heart with Christian in Peru have truth, its more than that, God has woven deep into the tapestry of my heart a love for Peru, but more than that, for my community there, I DO love the culture, but its more than that. I love the team I work with, I love watching them grow, listening to them share the gospel for the first time with kids with disabilities, seeing them get excited as God answers prayers and seeing His transform our lives. I love my family there… Monica, Luis, Sofia, Raquel and Christian have become my family. I feel centered when I spend time with them, I know I belong to the Lord and that we belong to each other. I love the adventure of seeing the ministry grow like never before and the calls we are getting regularly as people who are passionate about teens ask Young Life Algo Nuevo Peru to teach them how to more effectively share the gospel with teens, I love the adventure of driving in the city, of buses and taxis and the chaos.

You know you’ve been gone for too long when

You mutter “permiso” or “perdon” anytime you brush against someone

You forget that car seats and seatbelts are not optional

You feel like its just wrong to flush your toilet paper

You have the urge to tuck cell phones or money into your clothes and leave purses and bags at home when walking any distance at all

You have a hard time laying off of the horn while driving (not an angry or aggressive honking, just conversing with other drivers and cars).

You miss the ritual of boiling water multiple times/day

Warm showers burn you… lukewarm is what I now call a hot shower.

You take a look at all the great food offered in California and say “I want some ceviche or caldo de pollo”

Your niece asks if you will ever live in Fresno again….

While I do not have an answer, I know I am blessed, content and thankful to be where I am. I remember reading something about a missionary who is happiest in the air when between homes… I feel like that. When I am in Peru I miss my friends and family and beautiful state of California. When in the USA, my heart longs for what has become my home and family in Peru. So, I remind myself that this world is not my home. I cannot even imagine a place more beautiful than Califiornia, but am promised that my citizenship is there…. and unlike the laws for US Citizenship, I intend to invite everyone I know into this Kingdom that God is establishing… and THAT is why I return to Lima. That is why another country has become my home… so that others may know our ultimate home!

Psalm 121

2009-05-13T11:19:00.003-05:00

A friend emailed me what she "heard" from the Lord as she prayed for Raquel. What a gift it is when we listen to the Lord on each other's behalf. I was blessed.

A Mother's Heart

2009-05-10T19:16:00.004-05:00

I have been thinking a lot about mothers and mothering. Mother’s Day is an even bigger deal here in Peru (and throughout Latin America) than it is in the US. They have commercialized it to the max. Every stoplight I sit at I am bombarded with ambulant vendors poking plastic red roses, gaudy gold and red cards, balloons and cheap chocolate at me. Fresh flowers are on every corner too and much prettier. Schools close streets to have ceremonies and festivals. The gym that I go to looked like a junior high school valentine’s day dance with red heart shaped balloons all over. Young Life even has a mother’s day club. Grocery stores were a nightmare last night. Apart from the commercialism, mothers truly are valued in this country and perhaps we have something to learn from them.

Its been a rough 5 weeks for me. I think that I have underestimated the reality of a grieving process and our farewell to Raquel. So while my eyes have often been a leaky faucet, this month they have been more of a fountain. Friday morning the Capernaum team and I joined the special education school we work with for their Mother’s Day celebration. It was a 3 hour long celebration. Mothers sat in seats of honor, receiving flowers, watching dances, listening to poems while kids sat behind them, some participating more than others. I sat with a group of kids- in fact 32- adolescent boys with severe disabilities. These are the boys of the San Cristobal home and they are some of the boys for whom my heart breaks. Mauri is one of the stories I have shared and his story is only one of the many tragic stories. These are young men who have been totally abandoned… some with disabilities since birth and others with disabilities caused more recently by accidents or abuse. Unfortunately, the Peruvian governments’ system to care for these kids is not much better that their families at times and the home they have been in has been closed and they are being moved next week 2 hours outside of Lima. The school is in crisis looking for students to replace 40% of their student population, but more than that, we are all so sad to see these guys lose their stability, family, and the love of the house director. As I sat with them, I had 5 or 6 of them all over me. One young man with Down Syndrome who is blind stroked my hair from behind, another sat on the floor at my feet leaning against me. JohnFranco help my hand and touched my face, smelled my skin and leaned on my shoulder. My sweet Mauri is still learning to accept human touch and sat close and let me put my arm around him. Another one (bigger than me) plopped himself down on my lap which did not go over too well with me or the other boys who got pushed out of the way. It was one of those sacred privileges to be with them. While my heart aches for Raquel and broke every time one of the staff from the school asked me where my “hija” was and offered me a flower, a card, the mom seat, I was reminded that I still have a mother’s heart for the motherless.

I wept for these kids who have no mom, who get no tender touches and whose lives have lacked the detail a mom brings… cleaning their ears, straightening their clothes, a tender kiss on the forehead, a kind word... or helping them learn basic hygiene. They are loved at the school but there are so many and so little time. I know there is very little I can do, but I have to believe that my tears were lent to me by their Heavenly Father to allow me to share in His pain for them, in their pain and loneliness. My tears are also prayers for their lives as are the pats, the hand holding, the gentle back rub. As Christian and I talked (Christian talked, I cried) later, he said something that I think is very true and that comforted my heart on this Mother’s Day. He said, “Christen you are a mom. You don’t have to give birth to be a mom. You are a mother at heart.” If you’ve known me since I was 2, you will laugh because you saw me carry my dolls around like I was nursing, changing diapers and clothes before sleeping and bringing them wherever I went... It is true though and I am thankful. Sometimes my heart swells with a love that I cannot explain except to say that it is God’s love in a mother’s heart.

And then of course I think of my mom… the most incredible woman I know. She is quiet, humble, flies under the radar and most people do not notice her unless they know her. My mom. She is the most integrous woman I have ever met. In 29 years of life I have yet to hear her tell a lie, not even a “white lie.” Gossip does not cross my mother’s lips and she is quick to remind me when my words could become gossip or hurtful. My mom who goes to great length to serve us, friends, and people who are practically strangers. I have watched her make baby clothes and blankets for young students who were expecting a baby, clean out houses for people forced to move at the last minute, drop everything to baby sit, cook for, care for, sit with, shop for people in need so many times. I have watched my mom and learned how to love children, to discipline, to calm and to soothe. So, if I have a mother’s heart, its because God have me a mother who has nurtured and taught me the art of mothering, and I count it an incredible privilege to be a stand in mom to the motherless and to cry tears for the pain of kids who no one has ever cried for or prayed for. I am truly blessed!

More pics of sweet kids....

2009-04-29T09:38:00.003-05:00

Our Capernaum team here is a family. We just love each other. Yesterday our prayer meeting at 6:30am ended at 9am. It became a sweet time of praying for one another and listening to the Lord for each other. I am thankful.

I am excited about the training we have begun as well as they wanted in depth training on disability... they all have 3 page case studies on a student due in 2 weeks! They thought I was joking at first.

The best part of this team... you can see it in the pictures from last week's club meeting. Weather in sill skits, gentle touches and presence, or the actual sharing of the gospel verbally, this team oozes with Jesus love and I am thankful!

Raquel's Now Home with Her Daddy

2009-04-26T14:28:00.002-05:00

Proverbs 31:8-9
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Thank you to all who have prayed and encouraged me. I finally have peace and feel that my role as "mom" or advocate for little Raquel's life has ended. There is sadness and loss, but there is peace. We went to see her in horrible conditions emotionally and physically at the orphanage this week and insisted that her father remove her immediately.. I think when he had someone confirm the regression we had seen that he felt justified in removing her from their care. She had ceased to walk and talk and cry.

But, this little girls is a SURVIVOR!!! She went home with dad and sisters, slept in dad's arms and wouldn't let anyone else hold her. Dad brought her to visti us and after a little while in her room, with her toys, her music and her family, we saw RAQUEL. She laughed and played. The pictures below are a different Raquel than we saw on Thursday!! Dad has decided to take her home. He says he will try the day care center we have found. He has a couple of weeks with no work (kicked out of the market where he sells used clothes). I do not know how he will feed the kids without work. I do not know if he will make the effort to take her to the day care. He says he must, he is her dad and must fight for her. I see a fierceness in his eyes, more determination. Finally he does not look totally defeated. I hope he completes what he has spoken of.

He promised us that we would not lose our relationship with Raquel. I asked if I could come get her for overnights or day visits once she settled back in and he said of course. So, in the end, I will be aunty, godmother, and advocate from afar. We asked him out of respect for the time and love we have invested in her to not make major decisions about her future or her care without letting us help him, offer an opinion or alternative.

The sadness is knowing that the adoption will not happen, that her future will probably be battling poverty, sickness and the mentality of "where-will-I-get-my-next-meal" and that I simply cannot resolve that for them now or later. At the same time, Raquel is loved deeply. She loves her father. Through the past year somehow she has always had this incredible relationship with him and adores him. I would rather see Raquel living in poverty and rich in love than in a refuge with all the food and doctors she needs and no love and attention.

So, there it is. A chapter in my life has ended. I have peace. Our relationship is not over, but both Monica and I feel that we have completed the task God asked of us....

I am so thankful for all of you and your presence from afar with me in this!

Raquel is Coming Home!

2009-04-24T16:33:00.002-05:00

I do not know many details, but I know that God has moved the hearts of men on behalf of Raquel. Dad went to get her and is a block away from his home with Raquel in his arms as I type. He will be here by 10am tomorrow with her for us to talk. I think she will stay with us... at least until she is healthy enough to talk about the day care possibility.

I am praying for a miracle though. Dad was thrown out of the place where he sells used clothes on the street yesterday. He has not work right now, and this has already happened various times. I am praying that reality and love and sacrifice can all meet and he will reconsider adoption.

I am humbled and in awe that God continues to surround this little girl with people who will pray and intercede for her. Thank you... and please do not stop. Its not over!

Another Update on Raquel

2009-04-24T08:01:00.003-05:00

We went to see Raquel and she is worse than i imagined. Major regression. She is not talking or walking or crying. Just existing. I think raquel has suffered at the hands of other little ones there (all desperately looking for arms to be help, just touch. practically climbing all over us), she has bite marks and bruises in the shape of little mouths, scabs in her hands and arms and face. The worst was when i was putting her to sleep and she kept pulling my hair, my ears, my nose closer to her, as close as she could get. She was fighting sleep. We talked about leaving when she was asleep and though she did not wake up, she must have heard because she had this dream and was screaming and grabbing to not be put down before i even tried. We couldn't comfort her, she was asleep. Monica tried to take her into her arms and she flipped out reaching for my neck, I dont think she even knew it was Monica. It was a dream of someone else taking her away. After 15 minutes asleep when she normally could be drop kicked without waking up, I tried to put her down and she woke up flailing and with this look of terror. Her eyes killed me. She was begging me not to leave her. We got her distracted and left then, i am sure it must be so scary for her when she realized we were gone. i feel so sick in the pit of my stomach. She looks to me for protection, for help, pleading with me to get her out and i cannot do ANYTHING. i cannot help her.

We have another option for dad. "Day care" from 8-5pm for 1sol/day... would cover her diapers, food, and amazing, wonderful care. BUT dad would have to bring her home every night and weekend as the refuge doesn't have enough help at night especially. When he was concerned about the coming and going i told him that if he wanted to be a FAMILY he had a chance, families ive together, sleep in the same house.... but where she is- is no family. The day care is owned and run by a woman from calvary chapel with 3 homes here.It is a wonderful place, a true refuge and minsitry. Dad would have to take 2 buses/day to drop her off and pick her up. Everything in me wants her HERE, NOW, in the house to nurse her back to health emotionally and physically. She is so sick with a deep cold, her athsma, little kid bite marks all over her arms and face. broken skin. she needs out NOW.

If dad does nor jump on this day care, we are going to have to talk to him very directly about his capability to be a father. right now, she is in emotional danger and it will effect her for life. If she could begin remembering things and even laugh when tickled yesterday with us in an hour, i think it can all be recuperated if soon and intense. If he DOES do the day care, i will drive there for the first few days and help her adjust, stay with her all day. in my heart i want her home HERE for at least a week to get her back to normal, back to baseline before another change.

Raquel is only a shell of herself. I am so worried about her and feel so powerless. Raquel needs her Heavenly Father to rise up and battle fiercely on her behalf against the systems and the brokenness of this world, against the ignorance of men who think food is enough, and against the wounds her little soul is receiving right now of abandonment....

Thank you for continuing to pray!

Simpler Living

2009-04-18T15:01:00.005-05:00

As I prepared to move to Lima last year at this time, I was going through all of my belongings. Some I sold, some I gave away, and some I saved. My belongings in the USA fit into a small closet and a handful of boxes. One of my goals was to learn to live more simply. I wanted to be a missionary who lived as the people I minister with live. I made a commitment to God to sacrifice some of those luxuries for a year. One of the main luxuries was a car. In a city of almost 10 million people, one more car seems to only contribute to the problems. Besides, cars are for people who have money or who have necessity of one for their work.

It has been a year... and two weeks since I sold my wonderful (now seemingly luxurious) Honda Civic. Its been a year of buses bursting at the seams and being shoved against strangers, of taxis, lots of walking... and its been good. I am thankful. I have a deeper understanding of life here in Peru because I have spent hours in very close quarters with many Peruvians. At the same time, the increasing crime makes public transport more and more dangerous. My increasing meetings and responsibilities have made it challenging to safely get from one area to another. SO, I purchased a car. I sold my 2000 Honda Civic last year to move up... to a 1980 Toyota Corona! Coronas were a Peruvian special, I am not talking about Mexican beers, its a car.

Its a simple, humble car. In fact, most Peruvians laugh at the idea of me (a gringa) in one of those. I do too. Its funny. But its right. Cars cost almost double here what they do in the USA. Luis did an overhaul on the motor of this car a year ago, so it should last me for many years... BUT, I will not soon forget the simplicity, saved money, time to pray and think and the many conversations had on buses, cousters, combis, and in taxis... and you may still find me stealing away on public transportation for approximately $0.33 to get all the way across town in daylight and safe areas!

Goodbye honey (Honda) and Hello Corona!

2009-04-11T17:05:00.003-05:00

You all seem to know little Raquel at least from my blog! I have never loved a human being this much- not my family, not even my nieces.

SO, semana santa... dad comes for a visit and want to take her home for a few days which he has done along the way. Nothing unusual. The unusual part was that while dad was here to pick her up I had this very clear and very odd sense that God was speaking to me, "dad is going to change his mind. it will be OK. you will be OK. trust me." I was pleasantly surprised when a conversation with him revealed none of this and I thought with relief, "Oh great, I heard wrong."

Dad was supposed to bring Raquel back home on Thursday. On Wednesday I was in Chaclacayo translating with a missions team and Monica called me to tell me that dad had come with tears, asking for forgiveness and with much gratitude, offering to work for years to pay us back every cent and to tell me that he had changed his mind and no longer wanted to go through with the adoption. The worst is that he has given in to his daughters' pleading and left them internada... translate this realistically... left them in an orphanage. Raquel is in an orphanage in Pachacutec where he can see them on weekends. I am heartbroken and my grief is deep. I have loved this little girl as though she were my flesh and blood... and we have cared for he precisely so she would not be in an orphanage.

I spoke with dad briefly yesterday. I am trying to temper my grief that has become anger. I will travel to Pachacutec on Tuesday and I insisted that I need to see her and see where she is being cared for, who is caring for her and the entire situation.

So much I do not know what to do with. Changing his mind on the adoption thousands of dollars, lawyers, paper work, and most of all HOPE for a family who desperately wants her is terrible.... I feel like I could accept that if she was going to be with her daddy who loves her (and she him) so deeply. BUT, I have so many dreams for her life, I have dreamed and prayed that she would rise up and leave the cycle of desperate poverty waiting for the next visiting mission team to give them some groceries and living off of bread and dirty water. Every time she visits home, she returns sick... now she is in an institution with 600 other kids....

So, please pray... for Raquel and her future, safety, and health. Please pray for me as I wrestle with the harsh realities of life and poverty here in Peru that are no longer a safe distance, but have taken one I love so much. Luis and Monica and Sofia are hurting too... so many broken dreams we had for her. Sofia is missing the sister she has known for almost her entire life, that she shared EVERYTHING with.

I want to be careful and to be wise as I speak with dad and sisters (the 12 and 17 year old have quit school to hopefully help dad economically, the 17 year old had an incredible scholarship to an institute in Lima). From what I understand of their mother, the most important things for her kids were that they know Jesus, that they have an excellent education, and that they continue ahead to not live what she lived.... While I want to remind them of that, I do not want to be the "rich gringa with all the opportunities in the world" telling them that they need to get ahead in life.

While there may be some relief in being able to move out to a safer area of Lima (I was committed to be where my friends live so we could raise Raquel together). Daily life has centered around her and I will have new freedom for my travel schedule and work schedule. I will not need to schedule everything around nap times and such, but there is a pain that is so deep I do not know how to move forward except a small step at a time....

Thanks for being with me, as this is one of those places for me to be a learner and a struggler with the injustices and realities that break God's heart and ours!

Arizona State Work Team

2009-03-23T10:15:00.008-05:00

The Little Princesses

2009-03-07T09:05:00.006-05:00

Sofia is now 16 months old and Raquel is just over 13 months old. They are like 2 littlc accomplices, twins. They cannot stand to be separated but fight over everything, they chat in their cribs and yell accross the room to each other. They are beautiful gifts and reflections of the God's love and life filling our home!

Here are some recent pictures of the girls!

Raquel's adoption papers have arrived from the USA and now the process begins here in Peru. Please pray for favor with judges and with the backed up paperwork waiting to be attended to. Pray for miraculously quick appointments in court, with notaries and the muriad of things that need to happen! We will be heartbroken to see her go, but she has a family in California longing and praying for her daily!

Rodolfo from Chile

2009-02-19T09:13:00.007-05:00

When Jorge Walters called me to ask if I would bring a team to assist at a camp, I was surprised to hear he already had 2 amazing women who teach special ed and 7 of their students signed up for camp. Jorge and his campaigner kids had been doing contact work- not just on campus, but in kids homes! Young Life has only been in Chile for less than 2 years and we have yet to begin a Capernaum ministry, but as we arrived with a small team of seasoned Capernaum leaders from Peru, it was clear that God was already at work preparing the way so that kids with disabilities in Chile might also have the opportunity to meet Jesus. 7 kids became 9 when I showed up at camp and was given the hands of 2 more kids who Jorge met the day before in the park… There are so many stories I could tell about camp in Chile, but one young man stands out in my mind above the others.

Rodolfo is 16 years old. He has significant developmental delays and is incredibly shy. Unless invited, Rodolfo will sit alone and still with his head down. This week, Rodolfo was invited, he was invited into an abundance of life he has never know. Only 3 years ago, authorities learned that Rodolfo had never attended school and his mother was forced to enroll him in a special education school. Its been the beginning of life for him. The tragedy of Rodolfo’s life is that for 16 years he has shared a small room with his mother where they live and she works… as a prostitute. From infancy this young man has seen things that no child should ever see. It appears that he too has suffered some sexual abuse. His mother loves him deeply and this lifestyle, though beyond my comprehension seems to her the only option to care for him.

I watch Rodolfo during the week as he played… in the pool, the games, riding a horse, and shared time with a Peruvian Capernaum leader named Carlitos. Even his teachers commented about how he seemed to be coming alive. He began to express himself more, to have opinions, and to engage on a deep level in cabin times. Perhaps the moment that impacted me the most was the simplest of moments. One evening as the sun was setting, we were walking to dinner with all of the Capernaum kids and leaders. Suddenly, Rodolfo asked Carlitos, “Hey Carlitos, do you ever wish you could fly?” Carlitos grabbed his hand and said “I can and so can you…” They two of them took of running arms spread shamelessly and laughing. As they ran around and around the field I stepped back and let the others pass. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I talked with Jesus. Truly, He has come to give Rodolfo life to the full! When they finally collapsed on the ground laughing with some random dogs nipping at their heels and a bird swooping low near them I heard Rodolfo yell “I am free, I can fly!”

Praise God that Jesus sets the captives free… and that he is setting free kids with disabilities who have been held captive in their own homes, bodies and tragedies!

A to Z photo review of 2008

2008-12-14T12:22:00.002-05:00

Arequipa beauty... good friends, good food, and a city soon to have a Capernaum ministry!
Babies. My life has been blessed and filled with joy, especially with these 2 babies!
Christian Ara... he became one of my closest friends and now has become someone really special in my life! :-)
Dancing... I am going to have to learn I am told, but these guys would be the best teachers!
Ellory- the best "Christmas gift" I ever got almost 3 years ago! Aunt Christen loves Ellie!
Festivals- Peruvians celebrate, parade, dance & party.... especially my Peruvian friends with disabilities!
Gonzales Family. Monica, Luis, & Sofia- my family & partners in minsitry & daily life as we raise kids and minister to leaders.
Hiking trip with the Capernaum team. Bonding, adventure, asthma and incredible scenery!
Israel... one happy kid, always kissing the ladies' hands and asking about camp!
Joy in the simple things, something my friends have taught me!

KENNEDY, a beautiful new niece
Lilly, my sweet friend and partner who moved with me, settled me in & will always be remembered.
Mauri. A child who has captured my heart with his tragedy & hope as he comes to life.
New home... PERU!
Orphanage where several Capernaum kids live.
Pool day with friends & leaders from Capernaum in the Dominican Republic. Crazy fun!
Quinoa- a new favorite grain.
Raquel... I became a "mama" to a precious little girl!
Santa Lucia Capernaum Club- some of my favorite people!
Teams... visiting missions teams, Capernaum teams, staff teams. I love teams!
Uncontrollable laughter. Something that comes over me often when with these friends!
Vilma... my friend, the nun who runs the orphanage.

Weirdos.... Carlitos and Christian are neighbors, friends, teammates and goofballs... in the kitchen cabinet!
Xtreme Orphanage Makeovers... painting, wallpaper and some beauty for precious kids!
Young Life international... USA and Peruvian friends together!
Zoila. Director of a special education school. Advocate. Warrior. Hero. Friend.

What They're Not Saying

2008-12-05T20:41:00.003-05:00

Its been a fun week, 3 of the 5 members of the Lima Capernaum team (this includes me) have been translating with a medical missions team. Doctors, nurses, and people who just love Jesus came to serve a community in the vast and poor district of San Juan de Lurigancho. I will post some pictures because its hard to describe the community. Set into a hill that was once only rock and sand, people have come in the millions from all over to Peru to find the "good life" in Lima. They come as squatters and make a home from what they can find and eventually it becomes their home. Even while we were there, they were moving dirst and picking away at rocks to build more stairs up the steep mountainside. Simple, beautiful people. Precious children.

A few observations... doctors have to do a lot of listening. As the doctor I work with and I got into a routine, I became the interviewer that would then communicate to him what was "relevant" as I got a lot of information that might not be. I found myself praying that God would allow me to hear Him and allow me to hear them in "what they're not saying." And when I was patient and waited on the Lord, he let me hear. One woman... her pain and headaches and "fast heart" were from loneliness as she told us about leaving her whole family to come to Lima and work and feeling totally alone. She cried as I spoke to her about understanding how hard it is to leave family and how sweet it is to be a part of the body of Christ. We prayed with her and gave her some vitamins.

One little girl I will never forget... God allowed us to hear what no one was saying. From the time she arrived at our station, I was hearing something... mom talking fast and furious. Esthefani silent. 8 years old. All kinds of gynecological problems with mom explaining it as early puberty. The wonderful sweet older doctor I was working with didn't blink an eye, but he was hearing the same thing I was. We looked at each other and just as I was about to go look for the director, she appeared. I explained briefly what I had heard and she pulled the little girl aside while I spoke with mom about the other baby. The worst was confirmed. Instead of treating her with just some creams and antibiotics, we were able to address the horrible reality and secret that this little girl was living with as her dad regularly subjects her to the unthinkable. I am broken for her and the whole family. Pain beyond what I can know. She and I connected over the next few days as she came to talk, to be loved, to be known. I am hopeful for her, but also aware that there will need to be many more people in her life who listen for what she is not saying.

Oh how I want to be someone who listens to whats not being said! How much more would God be able to use us!

Christian, Esthefani, & I... she loved Christian and told me that if we ever had kids she knew he would never hurt them because she could feel when men were bad. She wanted us to take her home!

Moms

2008-11-21T17:03:00.001-05:00

I have not blogged in a long time it seems… so much I have seen and experienced that its hard to know how to share. Let’s sum it up to say that I have been considering a lot the love of a mother and the commitment of a mother to her child.

A few weeks ago little Raquel’s oldest sister came over to drop off some paperwork for her and we invited her to saty for lunch. Its nearing a year since their mother’s death and as the time goes by the wound and ache is not as gaping and I am feeling a little more freedom to ask about their mom. I did, and I was blow away. She was a strong, determined, godly woman. She loved order and a clean house even though they have very little. Her girls knew that she wanted 2 things for them…. 1. JESUS, for them to know and love and serve Him. 2. Education and opportunities. She lived in such a way to give them these two things and in the process has given so much more! She fed the forgotten and abandoned kids and widows of the barrio they lived in and was known for showing up with a sancochado or sopa when someone was too weak to get out of bed. She loved wildly. She was working as a nanny for twin boys just before Raquel was born because they could not afford to pay much, she did it for less than minimum wage there because she loved them.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks later as I am translating for wheelchair distributions for Joni and Friends wheels for the world…. Ohhhh the moms I met… and the moms I did not meet. You see, some of the moms who came BLEW me away with their love for the children. Ithalo… his mom came with him (14 years old) in her arms. He was stepping off of a bus 3 months ago when the bus took off… one of his feet still in and one on the pavement and it slammed his entire body against a cement wall. Severe brain injury. Her healthy, broight gifted child in now like an infant… and the saddest part… she began to tell me that she lost her oldest son 2 years ago in a car accident, then this, and as they are realing from the changes, her second son was hit by a car and killed last month! The anguish in her face as the explained to me “this is the only child I have left” shook me to the core. I was so thankful for the Peruvian friends that shared with her the love of the Father who also suffered the loss of His son… for us!

Another mom, Mari with her son Mateo has left an impression on me. He was the cleanest and most well cared for child I saw during these 2 weeks of distribution. He was BEAUTIFUL! West Syndrome. severe hypotonia… but beautifully carred for, clean clothing, face, smelled clean… all highly unusual for children with disabilities here. Mom was beautiful too, Simple, young, pretty, and yet there was this pained look in her eyes… deeper than “my child and my need for food.” As we talked I found out that she had known and walked closely with the Lord, had studied in a Bible institute and taiught Sunday School and loved Jesus and children…. and then a man stole her heart, she left the church, ended up pregnant with Mateo who was born with all kinds of needs… and he left her. Dad moved to the USA, began a business and wants to forget that Mateo exists. He has never even paid for a can of milk since he left… and mom lives to feed and care for her child. But, she is broken and aching for the love of her Father whom she walked away from. As we talked during the several hours of seating, I asked her if she remembered the story of the prodigal son… yes, that’s me and where I am at she said. But the Father… do you remember the Father? She, like many of us do, had forgotten not just that the Father took him back, but stood waiting, looking at a distance and RAN to his son as he came home. I shared with her that her Father was looking and waiting and that at the moment her heart began to move toward Him, he would be running. Well, she began to move and the Father ran and she found her place once again in His arms before she left. We shared some tears, many hugs and kisses and joy to see Mateo seated with a beautiful chair and her with a beautiful reunion with her Father.

These moms and so many more are my heros… and yet there are others who are not. I cannot understand on any level what happens in a mom to make her decide to abandon her child, but it happens a lot here, especially when it’s a child with a disability. So many grandparents, aunts, friends and neighbors came with children all with the same story… “no dad in the picture… and mom abandonded him…” WOW. The ache of a child’s heart is for his mother, to be loved, to be held, to be wanted and the ache of these kids hearts in the moidst of poverty and disability is even more profound for a mother. And my heart ahces for them. I do not think I will forget Marcos. He reminds me of so many of my close friends at home and of my friend Matthew who went to be with Jesus this past spring. Marcos has Muscular Dystrophy. When he was 4 and 5 and began falling and trippiung, mom was ekbrarrased and ashamed and left him with a woman who was a neighbor. She never returned. By God’s grace, that woman has chosen to raise him, but no one has ever explained to her the reality of Muscular Dttrophy since they just recently got a diagnosis. Marcos now needs a wheelchair and can no longer stand, but it will not stop there. He has ceased to attend school because he couldn’t handle the ridicule and being thrown to the ground so people could watch him struggle to get up. But he is bright. He has great potential that is also greatly limited by his disease and the conditions in which he lives. No school. No therapy. No medical care. Really, no hope. His wheelchair brought some sweet smiles out, but as he wheeled around, the “mom” began asking me if I had ever seen MD, what to expect, what caused it, why he was no longer walking and if he would get better. I sometimes wonder how many times in my life “speaking the truth in love” and really living out my core belief to see the truth set people free will mean being the bearer of really sad news. Life expectancy for young men with MD in the USA is limited to early 20s, but severly reduced here in Peru without basic care and in poor conditions. Little Marcos will probably not live more than another 10 years and his life is… limited. I shared with the “mom” a little about Capernaum and our desire to see kids find purpose and hope in the mdist of disabiliuty and siffering in Jesus. I shared stories of some friends of mine with MD… Matt who graduated from Berkely and is my age, Reynaldo who has been a great friend and continues to fight, JC who is a leader with other teenagers with disabuiliuty… and I saw a glimmer of hope. I am praying for Marcos… that he would know Jesus and Life in whatever time he has left here and that where he lacks momma’s love, he would find the love of his Heavenly Father.

Moms… I could go on about my reflections of my own wonderful mother and the sacrifices she has made… and continues to make for me. I could tell you about how I wrestle with the injustice of me having the BEST mom and seeing so many kids who don’t have one at all. I could tell you about my heartaches for what I see at the orphanage I work with. I could walk you through a day of mommyhood in life with Monica and Sofia and Raquel and I and these amazing relationships that form the foundation of a child’s identity…. but you are tired of reading and my hands of typing. Moms… are a wonder to behold when they live out their potential to offer life… not just biologically, but spiritually, relationally, and emotionally day by day. My respect and prayers are with those women who do and have and will continue to… the faces of many of them have marked my heart and mind this week.

PS- Raquel now calls me “ma ma” and I can be found most days for at least a few hours with her strapped in the front pack doing what we gotta do, with her on my hip, or pounding at the keys of my laptop while I try to respond to emails, so I feel somewhat entitled to include myself in this mom responsibility, privilege, and journey as I raise a beautiful child who God has allowed me to know and love for a time!

PPS- Sorry about the few pics… my camera broke this week and this is what I have….

My girl....

2008-10-28T23:24:00.000-05:00

I guess you say, 'what can make me feel this way'... MY GIRL...!

San Geronimo de Surco... THE HIKE

2008-10-27T17:11:00.000-05:00

So about 10 days ago I made a suggestion to one of my friends and Capernaum volunteers here in Lima that as we work to become a team, we should take a trip, maybe camp. Somehow that became a hiking trip. Now, I may not be in great shape, but I am strong and stubborn, so I knew I could do it. I wasn't too sure how Maria and Linda would do... they are sweet, gentle, petite girls who tire quickly. Carlitos is a typical Peruvian, and not the most athletic. Christian more athletic. I am not going to lie, I doubted we would make it but prepared anyway.

I had no idea what was coming! Ha! We left Lima at about 6pm on Friday. 3 buses and 4 hours later we were in San Geronimo de Surco. This was a provincia... it was totally different. People greeted one another. The community was a community, not a big city. Trees. Ahhh trees. Fresh clean air. More simplicity. No TVs, just conversations in the homes. I would have been content to stay there. Heehee. But we began the hike... at 10:30pm. We passed the city and headed for the mountains behind it. It was DARK, COLD, and straight up. Did I mention we were started at almost 7,000 feet altitude and I somehow forgot I have athsma and need an inhalor? Ha!

We prayed for God to send angels to protect us after we read Psalm 91 together and these 2 strays stayed with us, showed us the path and then slept next to our tent. They barked at anyone or anything with fury... so we fed them bread and oranges.
So, at about 2:30am we made it to the "capilla" which was just w falling walls and a part of a tin roof on a 6 by 6 foot area. Sand floor. Perfect to put the tent inside of. And a great place for the worst athsma attack of my life. 2 dogs who we met at the bus stop accompanied us the entire way... as if they were sent.

Now here is my confession, I was the weakling on the way up. I complained. A lot. Christian took us on a detour he thought was a "short cut" about 40 minutes in and we lost ground... and almost lost one of the girls and a sleeping bag. I let him know I was not too happy with him. I was named "quejona" (complainer) and I deserved it. I kept asking if he was sure, couldn't we camp sooner and do it in the daylight... Christian was the one who pushed us, and even yelled at us to keep going. Linda and Maria were shocked that we were really doing this. They loved the wonder and adventure of it all though. Despite twisted ankles on the way down, they kept going without a complaint! Carlitos was incredible. Steady, quiet and present with whoever needed help. His leading was from behind... something I am still pondering.

Yesterday when we woke up we had a great devotional time... Christian read from 1 Corinthians 12 about the body. We reflected as a group on our climb and our roles the night before... and how we wanted to be with a full day ahead. We talked about who we wanted to be as a team in minsitry. I guess I learned just as much about me and my walk with the Lord as I did about us as a team.

I learned in a new way:

That if I look at the long road ahead I just CANNOT do it, but if I take one step at a time, there is grace and strength for that step.

That I need help sometimes and need to get over my pride and independence and let someone lend their hand.

That I give up too easily and want what is easy. I found myself praying the end would be sooner and then correcting myself and asking for strength to make it to the end.

That steady and slow is OK. Steadiness is valuable. The 2 other girls sprained their ankles on the way down hurrying. I was slow and in the end made it in one piece! Carlitos lead with steadiness and gentleness.

We made it to the waterfalls yesterday afternoon, but the best part for me was one sweet old woman, Señora Lala that we met along the way. She, like many others live in these mountains where no vehicle has ever been and rapid transit is a donkey or their feet. She is in her 70s and was born in the mountain and plans to die there. She invited us to her home and shared her life. She lives alone. She works her land alone. Widowed, 13th of 14 children and the last alive, her only child has left for a modern life. We talked for over an hour about her difficult labor when she was 35 and life on the mountain. It was sweet. It was a strange and far away life that seems still untouched by the modernity that has changed (sometimes for good and sometimes for bad) all of our lives. We left our backpacks at her house to finish the hike and when we returned she had learned our names and we sat sharing some oranges and answering questions about life in "the big city." Wow. Her face, her simplicity and the tranquility of her life still have me...

We made it back to Lima, the land of terrible pollution and over population. After 3 long bus rides we were feeling a little sore, hungry and tired. After the goodbyes, I walked in, droped my stuff, hit the shower and went to sleep. We are a team... now more than before. Shared expereinces and goals, some clarity as to our expectations for one another as a team and as individuals, and some plans to jump start this minsitry year...

Thanks for letting me share. Here are some pics of the beautiful mountains of Peru!

Rich or Poor?

2008-10-22T19:55:00.000-05:00

How can it be that so many live in such poverty…the hunger for hope even greater than hunger for a meal. Precious people with gifts and potential waste away in the daily battle to survive, looking to make enough money so that they might be able to feed children dinner that night. The battle begins new each day. The toddlers are sent out with their siblings to beg in the streets. Tiny children waiting on street corners with water and a squeegee, wanting to wash our car windows for a few pennies. Babies being cared for by their 7 year old brothers and sisters. Mothers and fathers working in conditions that I wouldn’t see fit for an animal. Precious grandmothers waiting on the streets and hoping that someone will take pity on them and drop a penny in. I have seen where they live, walked among them and shared their pain. Their need for You, Jesus is so obvious, so unmasked. They jump at the offer of hope and eternal security. They surrender gladly the things that they carry to You. And, among the believers, the love extended is incredible. The invitations come to sit, to eat, to allow them to serve me. Those who have so little willing to give it all, wanting to show me a hospitality that I myself do not know. How is it that those who have so little give so much? Father, You have given me so much… please allow me to be faithful as I have seen my Peruvian brothers and sisters be… faithful to give sacrificially out of what You have given me. Amen

The Colors of Lima... not quite like fall, I know!

2008-10-20T13:09:00.003-05:00

But it has its own beauty!